


How to Piss Off a Super Soldier: by Thor Odinson

by MagicalPeasent



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce wants to run a lot of tests, F/M, Fluff, Fury's Fury, Gen, Hermaphroditism, M/M, Maybe not so one shot, Mpreg, One Shot, Scientific abnormality, Steve's attitude, Swearing, Thor doesn't like fighting over pointless things, sort of domestic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2186553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalPeasent/pseuds/MagicalPeasent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After weeks of feeling under the weather, Steve finally gives up and goes to Bruce, and discovers that maybe Hermaphroditism + godly sperm = Baby. Needless to say he's a little pissed off. Will Thor be able to handle the wrath of a hormonal Super Soldier?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How to Tell Your God Fiancé You're Pregnant. By Steve G. Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First ThunderShield, though I've dabbled in Mpreg before. I've had this idea in my head for awhile and I wanted to type it out.

It was well known between all the Avengers that Steve and Thor were excellent sparring partners, despite the fact they were a couple. They would fight with imaginary motive at each other and once they were good and tuckered out they would retreat to their quarters to... End the fight officially.

They were engaged to be married, though Steve wanted to hide it as long as possible. It was hard enough coming out to his teammates and then at a press conference, he wanted some relaxation before they found out their bisexual, equal rights activist, steriod infused poster boy was the to-be husband of a 2000 year old god.

It was a little to much for them to handle.

So, after weeks of badly hidden illness, fatigue and starvation for strange things, Steve put the puzzle pieces together. He had been throwing up every morning then not ten minutes later he would actually eat those oddly colored cookies Stark loved so much, and then the room would spin so strongly he couldn't stand, and then he was too tired to make it through sparring with _Coulson, **Coulson**!_ , much less Natasha or Thor. So he put everything together. Finally.

His mother was a midwife, he wasn't stupid.

So here he was, 96 years old, shaking with fear in a world out of his time, trying to hold back tears as he stared down at 12 positive pregnancy tests he told the lady at the check out center he was buying for his girlfriend, 'hoping this was the one.'

He let out a sharp internal noise when his lover knocked on the door. "No no just cleaning up in here." He said, gulping and throwing half of them into the trash can, some missing and shoving two in his pockets.

Of course when he darted past the other Thor was left questioning what these little sticks were with the pink markings, and if he should touch them as he readied his shower.

The super soldier practically burst through the solid metal elevator doors he was so impatient, jumping in his spot on the tacky carpet of the elevator as he waited to see Bruce in his lab. Maybe he would have some answers. He just prayed Tony won't be there.

He took deep breaths in an out to keep the hot tears from continuing down his face, "it can't be possible." He whispered to himself, cleaning up just enough before walking through and tugging Bruce lightly by the arm. "Can I talk to you?" He let out a small sniffle. "In private?"

The doctor looked up at him nervously, "yes of course, what's wrong? Are you ill? Are you hurt?" "I'm not exactly sure how you would catagorize it." Steve stated, making Bruce raise both of his eyebrows.

Bruce pulled him into his private office and crossed his arms, "Alright then? What is it?" Bruce asked, not daring to touch the practically vibrating super soldier before him. Had he swallowed a bomb or something?

Steve reached into his pockets, clambering around and gulping before pulling out both if the little white sticks. "These are a pregnant woman's tests so what?" He asked bluntly.

"They're mine." The blond forced himself to say after a few silent moments, the doctor's face making a gentle 'O' shape. "Well... This could be a number of things... I mean there's prostate cancer I believe, or then of course-" "pregnancy." Steve finished for him.

"Or that. How did this happen?" He asked rushedly, preparing a needle only to find the captain's arm already extended, "I know how this goes." Steve stated, almost sounding bored.

He took a deep breath before continuing, "I-I don't know how it happened, I have only been with Thor a handful of times-" Bruce glared at him, "okay maybe... 4 or 5 times a week... But I still don't see how this could've happened!" He exclaimed nervously as Dr. Banner drew the blood from his system.

A god and a super soldier had the sex drive of a teenage boy, apparently. Bruce decided it best not to comment.

"Steve... How small were you? Before?" He opened his mouth once or twice but no words came out. On his third try after a few deep breaths he continued. "I'm not sure I remember... 5'4", 110 on a good week..."

"Roughly the size of a woman." Bruce finished. Steve opened his mouth to defend but shut it. "About... Yes..." "Well have you ever been tested for hermaphroditism? A lot of people don't realize they have it." The doctor explained, sending the blood culture in for testing.

"Hermaphroditism?" "Yes, having both... Reproductive systems." The blond looked to the tiled floor in silence, "I would assume the serum enhanced your male features, since your female features were dormant, and it would explain how this might've happened." He continued, rubbing his back slowly. "Are you alright? You haven't spoken much." He asked after a minute or two.

Steve had accepted this in the short amount of time he was given. He wanted to keep it if course, but who knows what Thor would say to it? Or the rest of the team? He was a soldier! He probably wouldn't even be allowed to have the child. He started to hyperventilate for a moment before he calmed down, his mood swings taking a turn for the worst.

"I'm going to kill a god today Bruce."

And with that before Bruce could blink Steve was gone, and making everyone in the Avengers common room jump as Thor was suddenly pined to the wall by Steve's forearm, an animalistic growl escaping the super soldier.

"I am not up for sparring today my love I am simply too tired." Thor muttered, eyes drooped in contrast to Steve's which were blue as a million angry hurricanes, and wide as they could possibly grow with anger.

"Oh then it will make it all the easier to kick your behind!" He growled, the entire team at this point watching with wide eyes. "what?" "You did this to me you bastard and now you are to pay." He hissed. "What are you implying?!" Thor reacted, mainly to the cuss and not the eminent threat.

And just in the span of a second, they were both looking ready for war as they sparred on the balconey, metal forged of the gods hitting vibranium as booms after booms were heard by the audience of curious civilians and the rest of the avengers, including Bruce.

The rest of the team couldn't figure out though why Bruce winced so heavily whenever Steve got hit. He was a big boy, he could do his own time. Supposedly.

Finally after maybe a half an hour of fighting Thor finally bothered to ask, "why are we even dualling my love?" He asked right before leaping in the air high for a devestating hit. "Because you got me pregnant you bastard!" Steve shouted angrily, not realizing he had let it slip.

He immediately regretted such and action and curled his entire body behind his shield, not realizing that mid air, Thor simply stopped and floated elegantly to the ground.

The entire team raised an eyebrow at the same time, not that they could hear what was going on, but they were pretty sure Thor just punched physics in the face.

"You are with child?" He asked, his tone not angry as Steve so feared, nor extremely happy. "Yes." He responded, still perfectly hidden behind his shield like a turtle or a hedgehog.

"Then why have I been battling you all this time? I never would have put all of my strength in if I had kn... Are you shaking my love?" Thor spoke gently, kneeling down and petting the back of his lover's head as he seemed to immerge from his shell. "No!"

"You aren't mad?" "Why would I be mad? You are baring my child, my heir! Our beautiful child!" He cheered, making the soldier let out a small squeak when Thor lifted him into his arms, his eyes wide. "This is most joyous don't you see?!" He cried happily, giving him a deep loving kiss. Steve let himself indulge in such for only a few moments before he forced himself to pull away. "Uhuh.... You aren't getting off the hook that easy. You still did this to me!" He shouted, his face tight, which in return made Thor pout. "Are you not happy about this child my love?" "Well yes but-" "do you want to keep this child?" "I do but-" "Are you not proud to carry our child?" "I am but-" "Don't you love me and this unborn miracle?" "Well of course I do but-" "then no buts!" Thor exclaimed once again with a smile on his face, and Steve couldn't help but break out in his own.

"You stupid idiot... As happy as I am about a child I still have a job, a violent one, and pregnancy is an extremely uncomfortable experience-" Steve grumbled, being cut off by Thor's finger to his lips, "Then it will be my goal to make you the most worshiped Misgardian ever. You will be treated and pampered until our child is born." He announced, kissing him softly and slowly, "now put me down I'm not your bride." Steve snuffed, contently being set upon the ground again.

"Oh my love... We were fighting at full strength surely you must be exhausted." He dotted, about to pick the other up again. "Thor I'm fine! Really!" He said, smiling at the man and kissing him again. "I'm not tired, hungry, maybe, but not tired." He explained, rolling his eyes even though he was beyond relieved and excited.

When they walked back in from the balconey all the Avengers waited silently, staring up at them intensely. "Well?" Clint was the first to ask, almost irritatedly, for an answer. The blonds looked between each other.

 "We have some news."


	2. How to tell your superhero teammates a god knocked you up. By Steve G. Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to figure out how to tell his teammates and has a habit of stalling out of fear for what they are going to say. Oh, and don't forget about Fury.
> 
> Also, the team discovers taking care of Steve will prove much more difficult with his stubborn and nervous tendencies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the positive reviews! And since so many people suggested it I thought it would be nice to continue this cute little story!

_When they walked back in from the balcony all the Avengers waited silently, staring up at them intensely. "Well?" Clint was the first to ask, almost irritatedly, for an answer._

_"We have some news."_

 

* * *

 

 

It was well known that Steve and Thor shared everything, sometimes a little too much on Thor's part, with their team. But for whatever reason when Steve opened his mouth to tell them he felt it go dry, more like his entire body dried up to a crisp in fear. He had been so scared and angry of what Thor thought, he never considered telling the rest of the team.

"F-first... Bruce can I talk to you for a moment?" Steve asked, gesturing for him to get up and move to another room. Once the door was locked the first words out of the Captain's mouth were: "How far along am I, and how long can I hide this?"

Bruce sighed gently and gave him a smile. "You already told the father, the hard part's over." The scientist reassured him. "But what about the rest of the team? They'll think I'm some sort of freak! I was furious when I found out myself, and what about- oh god! What about Fury?! He is going to skin me alive! I'm not ready to be a parent, I can't even tell me friends I'm pregnant! Oh god in pregnant." Steve rambled as fast as light, hiding his face in his hands.

Bruce looked down at the ailing man with almost pity, and extreme fear. It sort of just hit him that if he hulked out now there was a child he could be hurting. He shook those thoughts away and kneeled in front of Steve who was sitting on the bed of the random room. "For one thing you're about two months along, so maximum you have two months to hide this, three if you stop wearing all those skin tight shirts."

The Captain blushed. "Okay... It's bad luck to tell people anyways. before the the third trimester is over right? I'll be fine." He mumbled, taking a deep breath. "First trimester.... I don't recommend hiding it until you pop." Bruce said, but he could tell he was already tuned out as Steve walked out of the room, noticing the entire team was looking at him, more specifically his stomach.

Uh oh

"You're pregnant?!" The entire team shouted, making the soldier collapse almost instantly and Thor scooped him up before he hit the floor.

Less than a minute later Steve's eyes shot open. "Are you okay my love? You fainted. I would reckon that is not good in your condition." Thor said, supporting Steve's head and upper back.

The super soldier blushed and quickly got to his feet, still as agile as he once was. "How did all of you find out?!" He asked, feeling himself start to hyperventilate again. "Well.... Thor wasn't good at keeping his yapper shut, that room you were in wasn't exactly soundproof, and you just fainted like a girl. I'm pretty sure you're up the spout." Stark explained, almost sound bored, letting out a shout as Natasha elbowed him sharply.

"But! Buuuut!! I'm still not convinced because well... It's impossible." He finished, looking to Bruce. "I have the blood work if you'd like to see it. I could also hook up an ultrasound machine for a sonogram if you still aren't convinced." The graying scientist suggested, shrugging up and down.

And so all of the Avengers cooped inside the doctor's office, Steve awkwardly sitting on the examination bench and Tony and Bruce were huddled in the corner, whispering some things and looking down at papers and through a microscope.

After a while of silence Tony shot up from his hunched over position. "Well damn cap! I didn't think you had it in you. Literally! You're positively knocked up, congratulations!" He said, clapping him on the chest (quite possibly on purpose) and the soldier bit back a scream, making some sort of a noise that stayed inside his mouth but it was loud enough to make everyone turn heads.

"You okay there?" Clint asked, raising an eyebrow. "Fine." The blond responded, practically choking it out, his voice raised a good amount. "I'm going to take a guess and say that hurt like hell?" Tony defended, the blond simply nodded, keeping his mouth pined shut to keep from screaming.

Bruce sighed softly and nodded, "it is to be expected during the duration of the pregnancy so I suggest no one hit him there during sparing." He said, cracking a gentle smile. "I can still fight?" The Captain asked, looking a little bit better than before, though he looked rather shocked now.

"Of course, until you are showing you can do almost anything you were doing before, but I do suggest you stay out of dangerous missions and to not strain yourself. If you start to hurt you should stop." Bruce explained, nodding up and down.

It was right then that a Director Nicholas Fury busted in to the office, making the already terrified Captain get to his feet immediately and get in line position, hands smacking at his sides. "What is this I am hearing about one of you getting knocked up?!" He shouted immediately once the door shut.

Bruce shrugged softly, "I had to tell him." He mouthed to the group.

He surveyed to room with his one eye, gaze first falling upon Natasha, but though she was the only woman in the room, she looked far too calm. His gaze finally landed on Rogers and he smirked. "So it is you." He commented, the blond immediately staring at the floor.

He was far too tense, It was obvious. In any normal situation Steve tended to treat him with as much respect has Stark did, which wasn't much. Seeing him scared straight by the mere sound of his voice made the victim clear.

"May I begin by saying **what the hell were you thinking?** " He shouted at the super soldier, the Blond's jaw going tight. "I wasn't thinking straight sir."

" **Damn right you weren't thinking _straight_! Fraterinizing with a god! Your teammate mind you!** " "We... Have been together for some time sir..." He admitted quietly, avoiding eye contact as he showed him the engagement band around his ring finger, nervously tapping at it, though that might've just been pointing as Steve's hand was shaking too much to tell.  

Slowly the director seemed to simmer down, realizing he probably didn't want to terrorize the captain if he wanted to get anything out of him. "How the hell did this happen anyways?! Anyone?!" He shouted, looking over to Bruce and Tony, Bruce calmly explaining the conditions of the ancient superhero to the director, explaining the condition as well as increased likability.

It didn't take a genius to see that the soldier was shaking with fear. He loved his job. So much. He didn't want it kissed away because of a stupid mistake... "Rogers-" "I will hand in my form of resignation as soon as possible sir. I understand the protocol." "No Captain _I don't think you do._ "The blond looked up, face riddled with confusion. "I beg your pardon sir?"

With a deep irritated breath Fury began, "you are not the first SHIELD agent to have fallen pregnant, you are one of the more... Unique cases but you are not the first, and you won't be the last. If you are not fit to be in the field you will take a knee, you have many teammates who will take up the void." He explained, the rest of the team nodding.

"Given that you are one of the most unique cases I have ever seen, SHIELD scientists are allowed to run as many tests as they want on you, is that clear?" "As crystal sir." He nodded and turned to leave, the rest of the team following him out.

"One more thing. Rogers, when I mean step out of the field I mean step out of all fields. I know what you do in your free time, and I expect you to take care of yourself. You are a valuable asset, I don't want either of you ending up dead because you did something stupid." Fury stated clearly, glaring at him and poking at his stomach with a pen. "Yes director." Steve said, cursing internally as the rest of the team walked out.

Once they were back in the common room they all looked at Steve in confusion. "What did Fury mean? What do you do in your free time?" Natasha asked, tilting her head up and to the side a bit.

The man took a deep breath, "well... When I haven't been on a mission, or a successful mission in a while I... Tend to hang out in or outside of clubs to protect girls from... Being taken advantage of." He explained slowly, "I pay for a cab fair to their house and if they can't remember I send them to a women's shelter. It's fufilling." Steve explained. "Fury only knows because one of the guys pulled a knife on me and I was taken to a SHIELD hospital..." He explained, sighing and rolling his eyes.

The rest of the team sort of stood there in shock for a good few moments, "well listen here good guy Steve, no more of that alright? Because I don't trust those creeps not to pull a knife on that." Tony stated bluntly, jabbing the soldier with his finger in the small soft spot of his abdomen where his child was making itself known very quickly.

"I know I know... I'll stay out of the field... I promise." He said, raising his hands in defense. Thor smiled gently and kissed his forehead, hugging his soldier from behind. He hadn't spoken much, as he was still processing everything, but he looked like a kid hugging his favorite stuffed animal. "I will protect you both, mark my word. I do not want anything to hurt my loves." Thor spoke gently, resting his head on his shoulder.

Steve reached up and grabbed the god by the scruff of his beard and kissed him sweetly. "I know..." He hummed, "but first maybe some dinner?" He suggested, tilting his eyebrows up. He blushed heavily when his stomach audibly growled. "Yes my love! Of course you must be starving after the day you've had!" Thor announced loudly, looking down at his love.

"Thor. Put. Me. Down."

The soldier spat through his clenched teeth, nostrils flared, having been needlessly picked up bridal style by Thor.

Again.

It was starting to irk him slightly, did the god see him as some woman now?! He tried to keep the mood swing under control and nodded firmly as he was set back down on the floor. He took a deep breath and sighed, looking around at the group of people, "So what do you guys want for dinner?" He asked calmly, making his way to the kitchen.

He felt his eyes widen when he was pushed by the rest of the team into a chair in the dining room. "What are you doi-" "We are making dinner tonight," Clint cut off, "you've already passed out once today," Tony added, "and no more stress is necessary." Natasha finished, all three keeping him from getting up.

Steve pursed his lips and rolled his eyes, "Please. I'm not made out of glass! And besides, whenever the rest of you say you are going to cook dinner you just order out." "Yup." Bruce confirmed, "we do." Tony finished, shrugging. "So what do you want?" Natasha asked.

Steve suddenly felt like he was an interrogation room, the other's seemed to talk like the snakes from the Jungle Book around him, all finishing each other's sentences. He gulped and shrugged innocently, "I don't know... Hot wings and jam sounds pretty good..." He mumbled, sounding a bit confused that he said it but damn that _did_ sound good right about now.

The rest of the Avengers seemed rather taken aback by the request as well.

'Hot wings and jam?' Tony mouthed to Bruce.

'Cravings I guess.' Bruce mouthed back, both scientists shrugging in unison.

"Alright! Hot wings and jam for you and hot wings for everyone else." Tony announced after a minute of silence. "You know you really don't have to do that. I know how weird it sounds, just order what you guys actually want." Steve said, shaking his head nervously.

He knew, (or he thought) his team still wasn't all that fond of him, and he knew demanding what they had for dinner that night wasn't going to help matters. Of course he wasn't demanding, far from it, but in Steve's mind he figured he probably sounded like some asshole of a king or something of the sort. So he felt inevitably guilty.

It became clear to the team that it would be impossible to pamper Steve when he was too nervous to even ask for a specific kind of _**dinner plate.**_

These next seven months were going to be tricky.


	3. How to Deal With Hormones. By The Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the end of his first trimester Steve's emotions are thrown out of wack. Will the team be able to deal with them and still keep the pregnancy from the press? 
> 
> Also, can the team actually figure out what foods Steve is randomly craving for. (Technically it should be a game show.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter :D It might be a little bit short because my brain was running dry. I based the emotions off of what my mother calls "The Seven Dwarfs of PMS." I considered them to be rather similar; PMS and Pregnancy.

_"Alright! Hot wings and jam for you and hot wings for everyone else." Tony announced after a minute of silence. "You know you really don't have to do that. I know how weird it sounds, just order what you guys actually want." Steve said, shaking his head nervously. He knew his team still wasn't all that find of him, and he knew demanding what they had for dinner that night wasn't going to help matters._

* * *

 

"Dude." Tony stated bluntly, "we like hot wings, just calm down alright? We'll have them for dinner if that's what you want." He stated, scoffing and snatching one of the order pamphlets and pulling out his phone.

The soldier blushed and looked at the table, not really wanting to look at anyone. "Sorry... I realize that was a bit commanding..." Steve groaned, resting his elbows on the table and hiding his face in his hands, only to have one torn away by Natasha, "look. Like it or not the next few months are going to revolve around you-" "they might since he's going to be a size of a planet..." Clint grumbled, smirking a bit before he got a sharp female elbow to the spleen.

"Like I was saying..." Natasha practically growled, "these next few months are to be centered around you. If you say jump we'll as how high understood? You shouldn't feel guilty for anything." She stated, making sure he was looking her in the eyes and even resorted to grabbing him by the jaw. "You are growing a god damn life if you want hot wings we'll eat hot wings." She said, letting go of his face and he sheepishly nodded, smiling to himself and looking down at his fidgeting hands.

They actually cared.

"Thanks." He granted quietly, looking up at her and flashing a genuine small smile. He couldn't help but blush a bit around the ears, just the reminder that they actually cared about him... Even though they knew he was a freak (in his own terms) He didn't even think they cared about him before, much less him and a child.

His eyes widened a bit when he felt Thor's lips pressed against his own, "we are here for you my love, all of us." The deep voice rumbled in front of his face. "Right."

About a half hour later three trays of hot wings arrived, and with a small container of Smuckers © placed in front of the blond, the feast began. Steve made the team swear not to tell anyone that he devoured an entire tray all by himself.

In perspective each tray was a foot and a half in _diameter_.

No one really commented with the exception of Tony (whom always seemed to be the exception) with a sarcastic comment of "are you hungry there Cap?" Which almost ended up with a glass jam jar smashed against the inventors head. After such a comment Steve didn't eat anymore, simply out of being too embarrassed.

Natasha felt like she gave that whole speech for nothing, because some how, some way, Stark would be able to make Steve feel guilty for feeding the two stomachs he had to fill.

 

The next month continued on pretty uneventfully, Steve's cravings went from Sweet and Spicy at the same time, to fruit, like a ton of fruit, to some weird Asgardian food Steve would only get by describing in detail how they tasted. Which went something like so:

"I don't know... I want seafood, like fish or shrimp but I also want like cold red meat... Then I also want something really fluffy in texture like eggs or bread, or all of them together!" The rest of the team seemed to look disgusted. "What...?" Clint asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You mean smörgåstårta!" Thor said, smiling proudly as if solving what it was his lover wanted was a game and he just won. This time of course, Steve joined in on the confused, "what...?" From the team. "It is a special type of cake! I will retrieve it for you!" He announced, and before Steve could get up and stop him the god had already bursted into the air to his homeland.

Steve leaned against the wall and groaned softly, rubbing his temples with his middle finger and thumb. The small bump of the god's child was peaking out from underneath his loose t shirt. He was only three months along, and he probably shouldn't have been showing yet. But then again it was a super soldier and a god's child so it was going to be a bit larger than normal babies.

"Your mountain is starting to peak there." Tony commented, chuckling and poking Steve's bump with his pen, snickering to himself. Steve immediate reaction was to check his pants with a red face, (he was wearing sweatpants after all) but then realized the billionaire was talking about the bump and seemed to calm a bit, "I suppose so.." He said with a long prolonged sigh.

Before he had even finished exhaling Thor had once again landed on the balcony, walking back into the living room with the treat, Steve rushing towards him and thanking him with a soft kiss and started to devour the meal happily. Much to the rest of the teams slight disgust.

It wasn't that Steve had lost his manners, he was eating as politely as a starving man could, but just the combination... Tony himself was about to capture some pictures of it on a disposible before a large hand reached over and crushed it in his fist alone. His eyes trailed up the arm to meet Steve's rage filled eyes, a mutter of "I swear on my life I will end you" being heard before he returned to his meal like nothing had happened.

 

Towards the end of his first trimester the team sort of walked on eggshells around Steve, for either he was pissy like a cat, energetic like a puppy, emotional as a five year old during the first 15 minutes of 'Up', Clumsy like a badly written comedy character, feeling embarrassed to even exist / insecure and would stay cooped up in his room all day like a teenage girl, whiny; as any pregnant person was expected to be, though that was the rarest of them all, generous like the mother he was going to be, which was highly adorable, and... Uh... The other one.

No one wanted to be stuck with pissy Steve who was yelling at them for existing, which wasn't fun. It was easy to tell when he was having a bad day, either the morning sickness hit him hard, he didn't get enough sleep, he felt uncomfortable, for obvious reasons, or his mood just flipped like a switch. Either way a single glare from him would shut almost every single person up. That was also how Pepper found out...

_"God why is he so moody? He is acting like a pregnant woman or something..." She looked around the room at all of the wide stares._

_"What?"_

_"Pepper, darling, there's something we haven't had the chance to really... Explain to you yet."_

Energetic Steve was actually quite fun, he was as energetic as a puppy and wanted to play or do something active. A movie wouldn't be suffice they discovered as even if it was the most high tech CGI movie available (in which normal Steve would've been intranced, not saying a word for the entire length of the movie) he would sit in the couch and bounce up and down or practically vibrate in his spot.

Emotional Steve was a whole other level of where he wouldn't get angry easily or too happy to ignore it, he just simply cried. Discovering the Sarah Mclachlan videos didn't help. ("Thor! We need to help those poor animals!") It was even more difficult to actually express this considering he was a 250, 6'0" buff (still) male.

Clumsy Steve was another tricky spot in which you didn't know it'd be one of those days until he dropped something with a loud crash, or he would fumble with his shield during training. Dizzy spells hit him the worst on Clutsy days, because he wasn't even able to properly grip onto something and more likely than not one or two teammates or visitors would have to support his form, depending on strength.

Insecure and embarrassed was the most heartbreaking to witness. He seemed to act a bit like a nervous bunny. He was red and blotchy around the eyes, nose, and cheeks, for he had been locked in his room probably crying silently, and he would quietly check outside of his room for anyone and then walked into the kitchen to snatch whatever he was craving, whether it be one of Thor's Poptarts, which he now graciously shared when the mother of his child was craving them, or sausages, sometimes both before sneaking away, not before a soft mutter of, "You don't need to look at me like that, I know I'm a freak..."

Whiny Steve was a rarity, and even though the team made it clear to him that he could complain all he wished, he rarely did so. He regularly visited children's hospitals in uniform, and though almost every avenger did, since he had been 'discharged' so to speak Steve had gone much more often, and he saw all of the sick young children, he himself feeling so guilty and so scared, and did his best to remind them all that they could be big and strong like him one day, or Thor or Black Widow, because he was in the exact same position they were in when he was a kid.

He realized after that time that his life was almost perfect, and he didn't really have anything to complain about yet, especially since Thor was so doting on him as was the rest of the team. But maybe for a few hours a week he used Natasha as his semi-therapist and he would just rant for an hour or maybe longer about his condition.

Generous Steve was the one the team liked the most. They teased him and called him mother bird at times like this because his more natural motherly, or... Fatherly instincts would kick in. He would bake for the team, make really damn good meals for them and go visit several hospitals for the children, simply alerting them and made it clear he wasn't looking for any sort of payment and would go visit all of the kids. Of course when he started to show more obviously he couldn't do it anymore and it made him ridiculously sad.

Lustful Steve though... That was the new one.

It was about five o'clock and Thor had just come back from training in the new holographic field Tony had set up for the team, ("that stuff from the hunger games!" They remember Tony introducing it as) and he was fairly exhausted, and he was not exhausted easily.

The long haired male plopped on the kitchen chair, chin resting in his palm and his elbow resting on the table, his posture hunched.

Steve stalked in from the kitchen, walking up behind the god with a smirk Tony had only seen in pornos on his lips. He reached over and ran his hands down the gods shirt, running his hand over his chest as he rested his lips on his neck, not minding the small outbreak of sweat.

"Are you tired?" He hummed, gently continuing to rub his hand a bit and bit at the skin on his neck. "Frankly my love I am quite exhausted from today's activities." He grumbled a bit, eyes lying low. "I know some activities you won't be tired for..." The soldier continued on lowly and seductively, all of the teammates in an earshot raising their eyebrows, as they had never heard Steve... Talk so filthy before. "I do not care to move from this spot despite your plans for this evening."

The soldier huffed loudly and stomped away, giving up and slamming his bedroom door. "Dude." Clint grunted, giving the god a deadpanned look, "you just rejected pregnant sex from a super soldier! And that's like... Gotta be the best kind!" He exclaimed almost in shock. In his defense, Clint was straight, hell he was with Natasha of all girls, but he had no issue with his masculinity and could easily admit that that sort of sounded epic.

"hmm..?" "Sexual intercourse." Tony said very slowly, getting it through Thor's head. "I rejected such a thing?!" He exclaimed in almost as much shock as the two men across from him. "Steve was practically throwing himself at you!" Tony told him, eyes wide with confusion at the Blond's idiocy.

"well I must-" He suddenly found himself being dragged by the back of his armor towards his shared bedroom, with the shouts of "god dammit Thor you will get in there and fuck me whether you like it or not!" From the captain that was grabbing him, the entire team feeling rather shocked at the cursing as well as what the cursing coming out of their supposedly innocent soldier boy meant.

"No objections from I Steven!" Thor shouted right back, following behind him.

* * *

 

Tony was very glad he paid the extra money for the soundproof walls and doors. 


	4. How To Tell Your Parents You Impregnanted a Super Soldier. By Thor Odinson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Frigga finds out (not from her son) that she was going to have a grandchild things get... Intimidating to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank you all for all of the positive feedback, but I really would, ahem, need to know whether you'd like this to be before or after Cap 2. :) thank you

On the fourth month the morning sickness seemed to subside and upon realizing that barely any of his own clothes would fit him any longer, he was understandably a bit upset. Some of his shirts would fit but his pants got kicked out long ago. The bump at this point had resided over most of his midsection and it was beginning to round him out at the edges a little bit. Out of spite Steve kept training his arms at least, and doing small runs around the track of the tower. 

He just came out of the shower, wearing one of Thor's jackets and blue shirts and some sweatpants, sighing loudly. He then felt something shift.. Inside, then felt a small nudge, it took him a moment to figure out what happened before walking to Thor in the living room, taking a content spot next to him.

"Thor...?" He called softly. "Yes my love? Are you alright?" "I... I think it kicked... Thor it kicked! I mean I think it did... I'm pretty sure it did!" He said excitedly, obviously on one of his puppy days, smiling wide as he gently grabbed Thor's hand and placed it on the bump, the small baby nudging the walls with it's foot or head once again. 

"I felt it Steven! I did what a joyous occasion!" He cheered loudly, making some of the other heads turn as he kissed him longingly. "Isn't a little early?" Bruce questioned, raising a non-condescending eyebrow, "Well it is my child after all." Thor verbly tossed aside with pure arrogance as he continued to press his large hand entirely over the bump. "Well it's mine as well." Steve mentioned stubbornly, looking down at the blue t shirt. He was strong too...

"Thor!" A female voice shouted loudly. Steve instinctively crossed his jacket and arms over the bump at hearing an unfamilar voice. "Mother?!" His fiancé immediately exclaimed, rising to his feet and strutting over to her quickly. "Why did I have to hear from Heimdall that I was to be gifted with a grandchild!" Frigga shouted at him, almost all of the Avengers looking at her like she is about to kill them all, which this unknown intruder might do.

"I'm sorry mother, I never thought to tell you or father, I was so distracted..." The blond apologized, the Avengers less scared and more amused. It seemed literally everyone was scared of their mother.

"Well, where is lady jane?" She asked curiously, "we are no longer courting mother." He explained. "Loki then? I heard that you had courted him several months ago." "No! Mother tha-" 

"WHAT?!" Steve fummed, nostrils flared, lips tight and jumping from his seat, his mood clicking like a switch. "You cheATED ON ME WITH YOUR BROTHER?!" He shouted in exasperation, eyes wide with hurt and anger, grabbing Thor by the front of his shirt and winding his fist back to knock the other out. 

"No! Steven, my love, that never happened!!"

"I knew that'd work." She spoke softly, chuckling a bit like her trickster son. "You must be the mother." She said, taking a step forward. Steve's head turned to her viscously, his eyes twitching for a moment before he was immediately cooled off and bowed in front of her like a knight. "Your grace." He whispered nervously. "You don't even believe them to be gods!" Tony shouted from the other end of the room. "I can be catholic if I want but she also looks damn strong enough to kill me Tony!" He hissed roughly in defense.

She laughed gently and lifted the soldier up to his feet again with apparently no effort needed. "Darling I do not expect you to bow in your condition." She said gently, giving him a soft smile, "you are carrying my child's child, you have no need to authoritize me." She said kindly, smiling and cupping his cheek, his ears and nose going bright red. 

She noticed. "Ah, an Irishmen... I always did like you Celtics, such spirit." She mused gently, leading him to a chair and letting him sit as she sat beside him. "How did you-" "The ears mostly. And the freckles. And the hair. Were your parents born there?" She mused, making gentle small talk with him as the rest of the team tried to go about what they were just doing, and failing. 

"Yes actually, I'm the first generation of American born..." He said, drifting off a bit in thought. "Are you alright dear?" "Hmm? Yes yes I'm fine." He said, giving her a shaky smile. "My name is Frigga, I am your partner's mother, though you probably already guessed as such." She told him, extending a strong hand for shaking, Thor happily sharing with her many Midgardian customs the last time hewas at home. "Steven Rogers." He said with a small smile, "pleasure to finally meet you." He said, shaking her hand. 

"I see my Thor's child has already built quite a home on your body." She commented, gently running her fingertips around the middle of the bump. "Yes... I suppose it has..." "I think it quite... Unique and special, as far as I am aware human males are not built to grow children." She thought aloud. "Normally not.. I am one of the... Very few..." He mumbled, giving her another nervous smile. 

"Has it caused you any trouble as of late? Thor was rambunctious even before he was born, I dare not imagine what his children will be like." She said, sighing and laughing gently. Steve found it surprisingly easy to talk to her. Maybe she had a spell or something, but it was like talking with a friend, that had the vocabulary of a woman from 1732... 

He smiled gently and shook his head. "No, not yet. It kicked for the first time just several moments ago, so besides the morning sickness and the cravings, it isn't too bad." He mused in thought, looking down at his hands as he nervously picked at his nails. "Get dressed in your uniform young man, Thor and I will take you to see a lovely place." She ordered almost softly, patting his arm kindly. 

Steve nervously looked between the too and felt himself become more confused by the second. "Come my love." Thor said from behind him. 

Within a half hour Steve was in his uniform, showered and cleaned up quite nicely. The growing child made the uniform look rather painful and tight, but the blond didn't seem to mind all that much, or at least he wasn't showing it. With a second and a small shimmer the soldier and the aliens were gone, all of the teammates and friends of looked rather shocked and astounded.  
____________________________________

When they 'landed' perse on the bridge between worlds the first thing Steve felt was nausea, then of course he felt faint and it took most of Thor's help to keep him standing. Heimdall gifted him with something that looked and tasted like a children's Benadryl and made it easier for humans to walk in the land of gods. "It's beautiful..." Was the first thing the soldier mentioned, looking around at the scenery. God he could only imagine all the things he could sketch of this place. 

"Come, we are to see your father." She said calmly, pulling Thor along and Thor pulling Steve along, who was constantly slowing down or stopping completely to take in the sights. 

When they walked into the large palace they immediately went to the throne room, Steve walking along side his partner, keeping his hands tight to his sides as they were walking, feeling a bit shocked when other reached over and grabbed one of his hands, giving him a reassuring smile. He smiled back and suddenly he felt much more calm. As they approached his father Steve bowed along with the god's son, watching the floor until they were told to rise. 

"So you are the one that possess a child of the gods?" Odin asked regally, his hand resting on his wife's who sat besides him now. "Yes." Steve answered briskly, doing his best to not babble as he did that often when he grew nervous. He also tried to ignore his need to puke. "Captain of America approach and look at me." He stated harshly, Steve complying and stepping forward, looking up at Odin's one eye as he felt his heart pound. 

"I have heard many tales of your strength, do you believe you have the needed strength the carry this child?" "I would like to think so sir... I've done good so far." He said, cracking a nervous smile. Quickly his face tightened in its entirety and he fell forward onto his knees, holding his almost flat abdomen in pain. "Agh!" He gasped as he let a scream escape him. "Are you able to withstand such constant pain?" He asked, face low with a look of judgement. "I've been through worse sir." He spoke truthfully, panting and letting out another cry in pain as he fell into Thor's arms on his side. 

"Father what are you doing to him?" The blond boomed angrily, holding his Steven close as he curled up in pain. To his surprise the captain managed to rise to his feet, heaving in pain and still holding his midsection by his arm, as if it was the only thing keeping his organs from plopping out. "Like I said... Sir... I've been through worse..." Steve announced, panting in pain as he looked the head god in the eye. 

"You have picked a strong lover my son, surely one built to give you your child." He condoned, releasing the pain's hold on Steve as he cried out in relief and Thor helped him stay up. 

"That was a simple labor simulation dear, no complications are to arrise." The obvious kinder parent of the two told him, the short cut blond nodding up and down. "So... I'll have to go through that again. Freaking great..." 

Slowly she stood up and wrapped an arm around Steve's back, leading the way as she showed him around the castle. "Let them talk for now, I will show you some of the rooms." She explained quickly, rushing out of the room with the soldier in tow. "That right there is what once was Loki's room. It has since collected dust as his prison cell is his new room. What a life wasted..." She whispered sadly, taking a deep breath. 

For some reason it made Steve almost pity the teams most well known foe. Because in the end, everyone was someone's child. 

He gently rubbed her shoulder as she waved the emotions away almost instantly. "No matter. This one right here is Thor's quarters, it started to be used quite a bit less about two years ago. He started staying in Midgard much more frequently, I think you are the reason." She said, letting him step inside, he chuckled almost as there was already a small crib in the corner of the room, old curtains being drawn once again. 

"It is tradition. That was all the space he needed when he was young, and now that he is grown obviously he uses much more of the space. But we draw curtains when it is out of use. Loki's children were the last to sleep in such a place, not that they had the chance to sleep anywhere else." She said rather stoicly. "What do you-" he went silent. "Oh... How many-?" "He was the mother of five different children." "The mother?" He raised both of his eyebrows. "Yes, he would've worn the title well I'd like to think." She commented, smiling and looking down in the ancient wood. 

"This is where your children will stay, when they are born." She spoke gently, caressing the ancient, yet unaged wood. He almost made a choking sound as he cleared his throat. "Children? I'm sorry madam but I don't think I'd ever like to do this again, or even know if I'll be able to." He countered, hand gently running over the small curve. 

"That's not what I meant darling." She hinted, giving him a soft smile as Steve's face scrunched up in confusion then stretched out in realization. "Don't be ridiculous... It's a miracle for a child to exist all by itself.... Much less... Much less two..." He muttered, gulping gently and looking down at the bump. No. No he wouldn't believe it. 

"If you say so." She said, smiling softly. "You are aware of the complications yes? You are carrying a child of the gods, it is not uncommon for the mother..." She took a deep breath, "for the mother not to... Live to see the child." She explained to him, gently cupping his cheek as if he was her own child. "I am aware of the risks... And I'm willing to go through them." He said, giving her a nervous smile.  
____________________________________

"What were you thinking?!" Odin shouted down at his son, face red with anger. "I see no need to apologize for love father! Isn't the love that creates a child the best kind?!" "Not out of wedlock! And not with a mortal! Do you realize how dangerous this is? That child could make him drop dead any second!" "I know the risks father and so does he! This child is a miracle and should be shared between two people that love each other!"

"I cannot see how you have become so irresponsible Thor! Falling in love, making love to a mortal! I thought I taught you better!" "I love him, and care for him deeply! You had no problem with courting mortals when it was with Lady Jane!" "Because there wasn't a child involved there, now there is a demigod on the line!" He shouted in retort, the throne room going quiet. 

"You do care for the unborn child then yes?" Odin inquired, seeming much more calm than seconds earlier. "I do father, so much, and I care for Steven just." He said, nodding sharply up and down. His father sighed in defeat, fingers gripping his white beard. "Very well then. If this child is to be born of Asgard so see it. At least it is yours this time around, and not one of your brother's monstrous children..." He growled. 

Thor bowed his head in silence, going off to see his lover, when he came to his quarters he found his mother looking down at his sleeping fiancé stretched out on his bed with a happy smile. "He is strong, he can make it through this." She declared, looking up at her son, "he is growing weak though, you must take care of him you understand?" She said, gently rubbing his shoulder up and down. "When they are born you must nurse him back to health, hopefully it won't be too horrid, but it will be one of his worst conditions as of yet." 

"I understand mother..." He said, gently picking Steve up in his arms and waving his hammer, being gone without a trace as he landed on the balconey of Stark's Tower, walking in gently as he carried Steve in his arms. 

"Is he okay?" Bruce asked, furrowed his brows at the unconscious super soldier's form. "He is simply resting." He spoke under his breath, continuing to carry him to their shared room, holding him close. He set him down on the bed and derobed him, kissing him gently on the forehead. "sleep well my love, stay strong." He whispered before returning to Asgard to discuss this in more depth with his family and other officials, since the child will have a claim to power, being the son of a prince.


	5. How To Drunkenly Be Pulled Out Of The Closet. By Steve G. Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a prologue about how the world discovered Steve's bisexuality and how he got together with Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be warned, there is some blatant homophobic slang used in this chapter, so if you aren't comfortable with that or it triggers you you might want to skip over it. Apologies but the world is actually cruel as such and it did need to be a semi-realistic prologue.

Prologue

Steve bounced on the heels of his feet, one of the many interviews starting. He honestly hated the interviewing process, he knew they saw him as more of an object of patriotism vs. an actual man, with flaws and nervous habits. He just didn't want to disappoint them. 

Tony was backstage with him, each of the avengers taking their turns with the interviewer. The inventor had already gone and friggin' nailed it. Of course he has had no issues when it came to media before. He looked down at his teammate and frowned. He knew that look. It was the 'god, I won't be good enough' look. He knew obviously because all of the times he wore it as a child, teenager, and an adult, always expected to overachieve. 

"Try this." He said, handing him a bottle of wine he brought for this reason alone. Steve didn't take a second to remark that he couldn't even get drunk and simply chugged the entire thing, groaning and getting to his feet. 

"That's not how you- never mind." Tony said, setting the wine glass to the side. He was going to tell him to be careful with it because it was possibly the richest wine in the world that him and Bruce created for the challenge of seeing what Thor and Steve were like drunk. For example if Clint drank that entire bottle like Steve just did he would be dead right now. 

The blond grunted and ran a hand through his hair, gripping it and letting go. "Thanks..." He mumbled, blinking a bit before walking out when his name was called, Thor flashing him a smile and wink as he walked out, making him blush like a madman. 

"And here we have the star spangled man himself, Steve Rogers. Or would you prefer captain?" The interviewer asked, the young woman giving him a large smile. "Steve is fine." He said, smiling right back at her. 

So far the interview was going well, then of course the question was asked. "Is there any special lady in your life yet?" He thought for a second and shook his head, "not since... Well ever really. I just suppose I haven't been able to find that one I guess." He said, giving her a nervous smile. "Any fellas?" She asked as a small joke. "No... No. Not since '43 at least..." He said, not even under his breath and right into the mic. 

She looked like she would've done a spit take if there was water. 

"Are you saying there's been fellas?" 

"There's been fellas, there's been dames... Not that either stayed around for long..." He muttered, his mind spinning out of control, 'what are you DOING?! Stop talking!!'

"Well I mean... Th-that was a joke I mean! Obviously! I mean just cause all of the schoolboys called me a queer doesn't I am one. I mean..." He hid his face in his arms, slamming it down on the counter. He took a deep breath in. God he probably just spewed some of the most offensive things. He could already see the hate mail. "I'm a mess... I'm sorry." He whispered, running a hand over his face. "It's just like... I can't stop running my mouth. I must sound like an idiot. I promise in not actually like this." He stammered.

The interviewer, who had gone out of her temporary shock, gulped. "You're just nervous, that's alright." She coaxed him gently, looking at him, "and if you're gay or bi or straight or whatever that isn't a problem." She said, giving him a less confident smile. "Yes it's a problem, of course it is a problem." He took a deep breath and explaine, "I'm supposed to be this amazing political figure and... I just don't hold up. Not in reality... I'm not that guy... I'm a human being with flaws and imperfections and... Gay tendencies... I'm not a poster." He said, taking a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry I wasted your time darling... I can't do this." He said, standing up running out of the recording studio then out of the building. In fact he managed to run all the way back to Stark Tower, locking himself in his room, 

The avengers team were listening from the green room, and honestly none of them looked entirely shocked at the accidental reveal. Whenever they went out hell he was far more smooth with the guys than the girls. He'd always look at Thor's behind before Agent Hill's, so he wasn't amazing at hiding it. 

Steve stretched out on his bed, "what have I done?" He whispered, tears in his eyes as he rolled over and punched several holes in the wall, panting angrily before collapsing on the floor, leaning back on his bed. 

He wouldn't leave his room for days after the event, and he just kept listening to the same sound bite from Fox News. 

"Do we really want a gay for our country's representation of strength and power?" 

No. They didn't. Of course they didn't. He was still that queer little 8th grader that'd blush more getting approached by the men rather than the girls. The little faggot that fell in love with his best friend and lost him in the exact same year. He gripped his pillow tight as he sat crisscross on the bed, trying to cry as silently as he could. "I'm just what those bullies said I was..." He whispered to himself, sniffling. 

It was two weeks later when the next big problem came to town for the avengers to battle. It didn't come from above though, it came from below. Giant insects controlled by a reptilian race ravaged the city. Steve's shield had more bug blood on it than he'd like. He was thrown by Thor onto the roof, he and the hulk taking out the main leader of them, a female of the reptilian-human species who wanted her land back, and would get it in the most violent way possible. 

He threw her down the portal to the center of the earth, where most of her species lived peacefully. The civilians cheered as all of the ginormous bugs followed her down. They walked through the streets, cleaning up the mess kindly as Bruce went somewhere to change back. 

"Hey Captain!" Steve heard, turning confusedly to the sound of the voice, just assuming it was another thankful civilian before a large rock from the rubble hit him square in the head, 'FAG' scrawled on it in sharpie, the captain quickly getting knocked out and to the floor, as his helmet was momentarily off, landing in Thor and Tony's hold. No one knew who threw the heavy rock, or who even was strong enough to. 

"Come on." Tony hissed, looking down at his friend who could've been killed but such a blow, a large open wound turning his yellow hair red. A SHIELD plane took him to a hospital room, making sure his injuries weren't fatal. His skull got cracked rather morbidly but it would heal in time, as would his impaired memories. 

By the time he was returned to duty the team had gotten 5% death threats, 15% hate mail, and 80% happy letters. Steve and Bruce were usually the only two that read them, assorting them by who they were for specifically, or if it was for the entire team in general. 

Some of the hate mail forced Steve onto the brink of tears as they vividly described what they'd do to him if they got a hold of him and/or other letters saying how he should be kicked off of the team because of his sexuality. The positive letters though took away almost all of that, saying how they loved the representation in the community. "We asked for powerful representation and we got America's hero. How much better can it get?" Was a rough summary of a good amount if the letters. 

They all warmed his heart so, every single one and they made him feel much better about himself. 

It was two months after most of the world knew Steve's sexuality and though he wasn't fond of the intrusion he found it somewhat easier to exist, without this big secret baggage lugging his foot. 

It was only after the occurrence that he realized he had serious feelings for a certain blond, heart pounding every time he saw him, ears flushing and tongue stopping. He had lived in denial for a long while before he finally accepted his feelings as true after he drunkenly stumbled out of the closet, and the first time his feelings were returned was a moment of pure bliss.

After a battle, when Steve was once again presumed killed/missing in action, and he emerged from the rubble, his eyes widened as his lips met Thor's, a kiss he eagerly returned even though his lips probably tasted like dust. 

No words were spoken between the two, yet simply an unspoken bond of courtship was made clear as they continued to kiss on the battlefield, Clint grumbling a small 'about damn time...'

After that weeks went by, then months before finally the bedroom door clicked shut and Tony realized he might want to install some sound proof walls and doors in Steve's room as well, realizing that their blushing virgin would just be blushing now. He had installed it with the other teammates because he knew they got frisky, but hearing the relentless pounding of a headboard against a wall during dinner was... Uncomfortable to say the least. 

Weeks turned into months, which turned into two glorious, hot headed, argumentative, sexual, blissful, cuddly years before Thor suggested marriage and Steve was more than eager to do such. 

They were on cloud 9 for a long while, before, quite literally, there formed a bump in their path.


	6. How to Lull a Super Soldier to Sleep. By Clint Barton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor had been gone for weeks one business in Asgard and the team realizes it is effecting Steve in not so positive ways. 
> 
> No Sleep + No food = Unhappy Super Soldier

Present

It had been two weeks since Thor left for business on Asgard, and too be frank, Steve wasn't looking great. His face was extremely tired looking and sunken in, as if he hadn't been eating or sleeping. It wasn't by choice exactly, he was never that needy boyfriend. To anyone. But whenever he slept alone his nightmares were brutal, and he'd fall asleep at nine and wake up at midnight, tears in his eyes and unable to fall asleep out of fear that they'd comeback. 

With lack of sleep came lack of energy, which meant he almost didn't have the strength to eat some days, like his hunger had disappeared. He was reading the newspaper one day, the round belly annoyingly getting in his way, and tried to focus on the news. "hey there Bella Swan." Tony teased, sitting next to him on the couch. "What...?" "I'm sorry would you prefer Rosemary Woodhouse?" "Tony what are you talking about?" 

Obviously his references were flying way over his head. "Come on I'm running out of sickly pregnant characters." He whined almost, sighing deeply and staring at him. "Okay listen here balloon," He was a bit nervous he'd get hit, but it seemed he didn't even have the energy for that. That made him even more nervous for his friend. He didn't even have the energy to smack him! "You look like you are going to die or passout any second, and I really don't want to look at that. Are you alright? ...getting enough sleep?" Tony asked awkwardly, how did you deal with this situation anyways?

It was difficult enough to have compassion and care about others, it took even more so with Steve, and even more than that with a five months pregnant Steve. "Tony I'm fine." He scoffed, shaking his head and grunted as he was yanked to his feet and pulled in front of a mirror. His hair was thin, his cheeks were a bit sunken in and his eyes were almost black they were so dark. "I... See your point..." He muttered awkwardly. 

"look, I know you aren't one for complaining, god knows how, but you need to say what's wrong if there's something Steve." The brunet persisted. "Nothing's wrong!" He continued. Tony almost rolled his eyes. They were so alike but so different at the same time. But they did have the same emotional process: hide at all costs. "How many hours do you sleep a night?" "8 or 9?" "Now how many hours do you actually sleep at night?" "...2 or 3..." He sheepishly muttered, scratching the back of his neck.

"That's not enough to live off of!" "You do it all the time!" "Well, one: I'm not knocked up, and two: I can have as much coffee and redbull as I want." Tony reminded him, taking a deep breath and almost looking to the sky, as if begging Thor to return. Steve might not've been his best friend, or even exactly a friend for that matter, but he couldn't watch his captain look like he was dying. 

He took a deep breath and almost growled, "you are going to go into that room and you are going to take a nap alright?" He stubbornly asked, playing mother bird momentarily because obviously Steve wasn't taking care of himself. "It's 2:30 in the afternoon." "Does it look like I care? go on, shoo." He ordered, pushing him into the bedroom and playfully tucking him in. "There? Okay?" "Okay..." Steve mumbled tiredly, curling up and falling asleep, having woken up two hours later with a scream that pierced the tower. 

At this, Clint was actually the one to check on him, as he was the only one in the living room next to his room. "Hey, you alright?" He asked quickly, looking around as if searching for an enemy. "It... It was just a nightmare, nothing really." He brushed off, shaking his head and looking down at his lap. 

Then he asked the question that was rather obvious at that point. He smirked a bit, "You need a cuddle buddy don't you? To keep the nightmares away?" Steve nodded, ashamed looking. "Thor's been gone for... three weeks?" He nodded again, sniffling. "Right..." He muttered, running a thumb over his lower lip in thought. 

"Have you tried a pillow?" He nodded. "something to protect yourself at bedside?" He nodded, "huh..." He bit his lower lip. "You very well can't stay up, you're... You're up the spout," the team had very clever ways of avoiding the word pregnant. "Have you tried sleeping pills?" "I can't take them Clint." Steve grunted, trying not to act snappy but he was tired and in pain and hungry but didn't even have the energy to eat and sometimes it felt like the child wanted to kill him. 

His eyes were filled with tears as he slowly looked up at the assassin. "I'm... I'm so tired Clint." Steve whispered, trying not to cry but sleep deprivation plus hormones didn't make a nice cocktail in his mind. "Well..." He let out a sharp huff, thinking of something for a minute then something clicked in his mind. "One minute okay?" He asked, scrunching up his face before running over to Coulson's office. 

 

"I need it." "What do you need?" Phil asked innocently, if a bit confused. "You know what. I need the stuffed bear or I think Steve will die of sleep loss." Clint said truthfully, shrugging a bit. "Oh... Alright." The agent agreed with a gentle shrug, walking back and gently entering his fanboy vault, unlocking the glass door that held it. "Be careful, it was made in 1919." "It's a teddy bear Coulson chill." He grunted, nodding a bit before darting back upstairs to Steve's bedroom.

"Here. I think this might help." He offered the old teddy bear. "A children's toy? I highly doubt that." He grunted, reluctantly taking it. "Well it is your children's toy." "What?" The blond asked, his tired eyes drifting to the back were an 'SR' was sewn in his mother's handwriting. "Dream Bear..." He whispered under his breath, tears in his eyes. "How did you-?" "Some of your valuables were sold at auction after your 'death', and your personal little superfan came in handy." He said vaguely. 

"Sweet Dreams." He muttered, giving him a bit of a smile as he shut the door. Him and the captain had never been too close in anything they had done, so he hoped maybe such an action would at least get Clint on his good side. 

Steve cried, he couldn't help it. He clutched the bear tight and turned on his side as he slept, trying to almost shift in a way so that the baby couldn't kick at his internal organs, gently circling his hand across the top of it and when it died down he fell asleep for about a completely necessary 26 hours. No one commented about how long he slept for, everyone knowing how much he needed it. And it was very adorable black mail to have a drooling super soldier curled up with his teddy bear. 

Two days later Thor returned, feeling as guilty as ever since he had left his lover in such a weak state, promising never to leave again for the remainder of the four months. 

When he landed on the balcony Steve would've run over to him instantly, if he could get up on his own. "I've missed you." He said with a large tired smile as he wrapped his arms around him tight. "I love you." He whispered as Thor picked him up to his feet, giving him a proper hug. "How have you been my love?" The taller of the two asked earnestly, hoping that his father wasn't correct and Steve would live through this, his appearance wasn't convincing though. 

"Fine, I'm just glad your back..." Steve assured him, kissing his cheek. "You have grown so big!" Thor exclaimed joyously, "swelled with our child." He cheered, going for another kiss which was blocked by Steve's hand, the other avengers in the room now prepared to see Steve smash his skull in with that comment. 

"I do hope that is a compliment, or else I will smash in your thick head with your own hammer~." Steve said sweetly as he walked towards the living room and sat down on the couch, arms crossed above his stomach as he glared up sharply at him. 

"Of course it was a compliment! You're glowing." He replied joyously, getting the other to his feet and hugging him so tight the other avengers were almost scared that Thor would squeeze the baby out himself. "Please let go." Apparently that's what Steve was thinking too. As Thor obliged and pulled away Steve was left panting ever so slightly.

"It's enough to have a baby squeezing in my organs I don't need you to do it too." He groaned, plopping back onto the couch, Thor sitting next to him and giving him a much deserved kiss. "Are you okay though my love? It looks as though our child has sucked the life out of you." He noted worriedly, his large hand gently rubbing the bump up and down. "I'm fine Thor, really I'm just tired... And hungry and sore and nauseous and whiny." He muttered, pulling him back in for another kiss. 

Thor pouted down at his lover, who was very clearly not happy or comfortable at all, even if he doesn't complain about it much. The child's size has increased greatly in the last month or so and with that it greatly affected Steve's body. It was very clear as well that he needed some new clothes and shoes, as Thor's shirts wouldn't work for much longer and Steve's swollen feet could only fit into his own shoes for maybe a week more. 

"Do you need anything from me?" He asked, giving him another kiss. "A foot rub would be nice... but you really should relax now that your ba-" before he could finish his sentence Thor was by his feet, on his knees and diligently working on messaging his fiancé's feet like it was his job. "Thor you don't have t-" "I must, or what kind of father would I be?" The comment made Steve blush ever so slightly. 

"Your only doing it because you mother gave you a talking to that scared you shitless." Tony commented from the kitchen. "That as well..." The blond admitted, chuckling a bit as he continued to work, not noticing that Steve had started to snore and was dead asleep, until he was finished. "Does that feel good love?" He asked, looking up and smirking ever so slightly as he saw the soldier's head laying on his own shoulder, completely knocked out.

"You wear your mother out so, you mustn't do that." He told the rounding bump, chuckling as he picked up his lover and walked back to the bedroom, curiously peering down at the stomach and pulling his tight shirt up to rest a hand on it, chuckling softly at the small kicks, leaning over and laying his head on it, soft enough so there wouldn't be too much pressure. 

"Mother said I should talk to you, I am not entirely sure of the purpose as you are quite small and I am pretty sure you do not have ears quite yet... But I see no harm in it." He spoke to the small bump, unaware he had woken Steve up, whom had the largest smile on his face. "You must let him rest and eat, and we love you quite a lot already. I cannot wait to see you, and touch you. I can feel you kick and see you on that screen of Banner's, but I would... Like more I suppose." 

He took a deep breath and smiled at a soft kick, "you are very strong already, I can tell. But I do think your mother would like you not to kick his kidneys... You cause him much pain when you do that and neither of us like it. You can show off your strength when you are born, male or female you will be a fine heir to the throne, all on your own." He hummed gently, pressing a soft finger tip to the pushed out belly button on the bump, chuckling a bit as he was met with the child's foot. 

"You seem very conversive lately." Steve commented, smiling down at his fiancé. (The term boyfriend never settled right in his mouth, it was never the term for them. They had always been more serious than that, even when they just started.) "Hmm...?" Thor asked, still feeling a bit dazed. "I was just talking to the child. It seems to like me." He explained cheerfully. "Oh I can tell it does... But you're exciting it. It makes it quite difficult to nap." The soldier reminded him, Thor nodding quickly as he removed his hand and pulled down the shirt, playing the role of the big spoon as he let his lover cuddle up to him. 

"I love you." Steve mumbled tiredly, "I missed you." "I missed you as well... And the little one. But I promise not to let you out of my sight again okay?" He asked, softly petting his cheek with the back of his hand. "Okay..." The blond hummed before falling asleep again, Thor complying a few minutes later.


	7. How to Deal With Another, Very Protective, Super Soldier. By Thor Odinson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of stuff goes on, the title is a spoiler enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to punch this chapter out. I don't really have an excuse except for writers block, which is why this chapter is very jumbled, couldn't decide what I wanted to do.

Boy did Thor stick to his word... 

Steve woke up a morning a few weeks later and groaned, finding his face equal to Thor's feet. He sat up with (more than) a bit of an effort and realized he was at the foot of the bed, like a dog. How much had he moved in his sleep? He pushed himself to his feet and made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. On the way back out he caught himself in the mirror, sighing loudly as he rubbed the bump, which had grown considerably recently, making it a bit hard to walk. "god I look like a cow..." He groaned as he walked his way back out and surprisingly felt rather awake. 

He waddled his way into the kitchen and looked around, thinking to himself. He waited until Thor was awake as well to make these thoughts verbal. "We really should start working on a room for the baby..." He mumbled, sitting at the kitchen table as Thor joined him. "There is the room for visitors." He said, pointing to the guest bedroom. "Help me get up?" Steve asked, already in mental and physical defeat to the impact the child was making on his body. 

He placed a hand on his back and used his other arm to be pulled up by his fiancé. He walked to the guest bedroom and flicked the light on, humming. "this could work quite well..." He mumbled in thought, biting his lower lip. Thor followed him and wrapped an arm around his middle, large hands resting on the lower part of the bump. "It is quite nice." He commented, resting his chin on Steve's shoulder. 

He took a deep breath and yawned, looking around the room as if he could picture it. "You know we have our appointment with Bruce today..." Steve reminded the other, looking up at the blond. 

He nodded and kissed his cheek. "I am aware. What would you like for breakfast today? You look far too thin..." He commented, his hand running up the soldiers ribcage, and it made him very nervous that he could feel his ribcage. "I am not sure... I'm not all that hungry..." He mumbled, walking back to the kitchen and talking a seat at the kitchen table. 

"Nonsense!" Thor exclaimed, walking after him and sitting across from him. "You ate quite the bounty before the child to help you stay strong, and now you are supposed to be feeding the child and yourself and you have suddenly lost your appetite." He paraphrased, leaning forward and resting the back of his hand on his forehead. "Are you ill my love?" He asked. 

"I'm not sick Thor..." The soldier grumbled stubbornly, groaning a bit as he pinched his eyes shut, leaning against him. "I do not consider that as being well...." The god retaliated, holding his husband-to-be close as he picked him up and rested him on the couch. "I hate you Thor..." Steve hissed as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, wincing with each kick and movement the child made. 

"Do we need to call a physician?" He questioned, remembering that his Mother told him that whatever he said against him was just from the pain, so he knew not to take the words to heart. "No no... Just the little bastard trying to nail me in the goddamn spine..." He groaned, taking large breaths in and out before it seemed that the child fell asleep. He pushed himself to his feet and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that you know it right?" Steve asked, cupping his cheek gently and kissed him softly and slowly. 

He walked to the kitchen after he pulled away and shrugged a bit, "maybe just a bagel with cream cheese... Nothing special..." He muttered to himself as he took out the parts and contently ate. "Do you want anything?" He asked while he was still up and walking around, grunting and shrieking as he was pushed into a chair. "Thor what the hell?" "I do not want you moving around so much. And do not say you are alright because I know you are not." He spoke like the nervous father he was about to be, kissing his cheek. 

Steve blushed a bit at the action and gave him a soft smile, "Okay..." He whispered gently, still feeling guilty for acting like such a tub of lard recently, but he knew now that at least Thor didn't seem to mind. 

An hour or two later he found himself on the crinkly bed sheets, laying down with weird gel over his stomach and his shirt lifted up. He gave Bruce his most kind smile, and looked nervously over at the doctor performing the sonogram Dr. Uchtman. She seemed to be very kind so far with round cheeks and a short stature, and Bruce said she would be his doctor for the remaining months as she was a proper specialist in the field and would be more calm during more stressful moments; moments Bruce didn't trust himself in. 

She looked over at the screen and widened her eyes ever so slightly. She cleared her throat softly and continued on. "Is everything alright?" Steve asked nervously after the sonogram was over, wiping off the gel with the paper towels. 

"Yes, the babies are just fine." She spoke calmly, cleaning off the wand. "Okay... The babies are just fin-" he paused and sat straight up. "Babies?" He exclaimed, eyes wide as he felt his heart pound. "you mean there's..." He was a second away from passing out. "Two yes. Twins." She said, gulping and handing him a paper bag to breathe into just incase he started to hyperventilate. 

Steve gladly took it and after a minute he seemed to have calmed down, looking over at Thor with the fear of God in his eyes. Thor, at the moment, hadn't reacted, at all and instead just seemed to be frozen in his position leaning against the wall. "Thor...?" He asked gently, looking up at him and softly waving a hand in front of his face. 

"There will be two children?" "Yes." "Twins?" "Yeah..." "Cause for celebration!" He cheered, picking Steve off of the bed and holding him tight in his arms. Steve let out a nervous laugh as he was used to it at this point and just softly kissed his cheek. "Thank you Doctor." Steve said politely, having to heal Thor like an anxious dog to keep him from running off. "And our next appointment is...?" "13th of October." "Thank you." He said again before he allowed himself to be whisked away like a slingshot. 

It was late at night now, and though Steve was cuddled up comfortably against his lover, Thor was very much wide awake, everything suddenly hitting him like a ton of bricks. He gulped and stepped out of the bed and ventured outside of the room and into the shared kitchen, finding himself with a bottle of old beer clutched in his hands as he stared into nothingness as he thought. 

"If you hurt him..." A sharp growl came from the glass window, but the voice was clearly inside. The man wore a hood, and greasy strands of brown hair framed his face, "I am not responsible for what I will do." The seemingly male voice said. 

Thor jumped a bit, turning around the face the man. "Who are you, how did you get in here?" He said as loudly as he could without waking his lover up. "I'm your worst fucking nightmare that's who I am." He grunted, not moving from his spot. "...Let's just go with old friend." He muttered, a faint smirk rising in his lips. Thor could only see his lips and under, as the rest of his face was covered by a hood. "And you are scared out of your mind about those kids." He countered .

"How did you know about the children? No one knows." He persisted, feeling angered by the fact he was receiving no clear answers. "I'm Steve's little guardian angel how about? I know more about him then you've even tried to figure out. I need to repay my debts, and if you hurt him in anyway, it would be my greatest honor to take that pain away from him in anyway I see fit." The mysterious man described vividly. "Now if you excuse me, I have work to report to in Europe." He grunted, walking onto the balcony and jumping off.

Thor watched the man warily, trying to run after him but he had seemingly disappeared already. He shook his head in confusion and put the beer away, feeling guilty for having taken it out in the first place now. He walked back to his room, after telling the mysterious computer man titled JARVIS to tighten the locks. 

He tried not to think about it the rest of the day, and the next day. But by that Thursday, Steve had picked up the phone, waddling over to the kitchen and taking a seat. "Natasha?" He asked in confusion. "Where are you I thought you were tracking down HYDRA in Switzerland." He stated, furrowing his brows. "Well I was, then I found a little fly in the wall doing the same thing." She muttered, tsking audibly over the line. "Was that a spider pun?" "Don't condemn me Rogers, I'm the one that found your little bestie here." She mocked.

His eyes slowly widened in realization. Honestly they had been giving up on the search, as it has proved rather pointless. "...the winter soldier." He muttered, throat tight as he cleared it. "Uh huh. Obedient, cute, dangerous, Russian, can I keep him?" She jokingly inquired, leaning back on her plane seat. "I don't think he'd like that very much." He responded, doing his best to be the serious one in this conversation. 

"his cheeks are a bit hollow, we need to fatten him up and bit." She joked, pinching the assets cheeks as he groaned and rolled his eyes. Steve could here some quick Russian bickering between the two and he could help but smile, he wasn't even talking to the other and it was clear that he had definetly gotten some of his old personality back.

"Does he remember anything?" He inquired. "According to him he remembers a lot, apparently without HYDRA's little brain washing tools his memory has a very large capacity," She explained. "He's a bit of a jackass though." "Yeah, that sounds like him." He muttered with a small laugh. "Where are you two?" "on a plane to New York." 

"She's going to arrest me..." Came a thick, Eastern European grumble from the other line. "I'm not arresting him, he just needs to be in custody." She explained softly, patting the top of the angry asset's head. "You know you aren't as scary, you never really were." "I could kill you at the drop of a hat." "But you won't." Steve rolled his eyes at the bickering, but was smiling so wide he couldn't even try to hold back. 

He was so glad they had finally found the other, but realized this couldn't have come at a worse possible time. "Natasha?" He asked softly, "yes?" "Have you told him about... You know..." He muttered, swallowing thickly. "Not yet, I thought you should do that yourself. Or maybe just waddle up to him." She cracked, making Steve's smile drop with annoyance. 

"See you guys then." He said, sighing and hanging up the phone, and though he didn't really show it he was beyond giddy. But it was a bit tricky to bounce up and down in his state. He pushed himself to his feet and let out a sharp groan. Thor, whom of which had been watching from the couch rushed over to him, giving him some room to breath but also support. "Is something wrong, is it the children?" 

He sighed, "no... For once technically it isn't them..." Steve grumbled, rubbing his back softly. "My back has been killing me lately..." "Maybe you need new bedding... The bedding in my quarters at home are ver-" "Thor you aren't very persuasive, and no way in hell will I be waddling around your.... Palace for the next few months." He demanded stubbornly, wincing again as he felt the pain again. "At least let me message you, make you feel better?" Thor asked, giving him the puppy face the soldier couldn't resist. "Oh fine." 

He knew all Thor wanted to do was help, and of course it was sweet of him, seeing how much suffering Steve was going through obviously made him feel guilty beyond measure so anything he could do to make the pregnancy easier he would do at the drop of the hat. Especially with the deathly reminder that maybe he wouldn't even get to see or talk to his beloved after it was over. The reminder that these could be his last few months with the other made him, in the simplest terms, needy, caring and a bit clingy. 

Steve of course did understand the implications of death, but saw it as more of a 30% chance like he was told, rather than the 70% chance Thor was told, which was the honest one. 

Thor was damn sure he would get the most he could out of these last few months, even if it annoyed his lover so he needed it. More than anything.


	8. How to Deal with Another Super Soldier Trying to Steal Your Fiancé. By Thor Odinson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor can't help but feel jealous of Bucky for getting all of Steve's attention. The chemistry is clear and the last thing Thor wants is cheating! (Not that Steve was ever planning to.) 
> 
> Also, Bucky's giving Steve peptalks and pick-me-ups. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god!! I am so incredibly sorry for it taking me so ridiculously long to update. I got distracted and lost interest in the story. Thank you for all of the positive reviews! I'm back though, and I'll try to punch out another chapter before the end of March.

The next few days were spent with Steve, simply put, stressing. Him and Bucky had been through a lot, but nothing like this. Nothing this crazy this freakish. Sure they lived together for years, fought together, and Steve was sure Bucky thought he knew everything that could go wrong when it came to Steve's body. Hell, he had seen everything that had gone wrong with his body. And technically Steve thought it wasn't too kind to the children to consider the pregnancy being wrong but, it was! 

The blond mainly spent time making everything tidy and trying to make the loose shirts fit well, even though they always rode up over his stomach. "I feel like I'm wearing a portable table." He expressed frustratedly one evening after dinner where it was nearly impossible to get as close as he needed to, to the table.

Thor frowned and sat next to him, "do not be ridiculous, you are... Growing, as is a given, but do not let what happened at supper affect your mood. You are handsome as ever, practically glowing." He hummed, kissing at his neck kindly, "and the fact you are carrying two supple, strong children, growing them, creating lovely creatures, only adds to your beauty my love." He complimented Steve every chance he got, since clearly The blond wasn't doing it himself. 

"You are so incredibly strong, and in two more months you will not have to deal with such troubles anymore." He spoke, caressing Steve's cheek. He was as pale as he could remember, and his entire body looked starved, even though the God knew his lover was eating. It made Thor so scared his blue eyes filled up a soft bit as he looked at the other. Thor kissed him softly on the lips, and they spent their evening as such, softly kissing on the couch, just embracing each other until they fell asleep, tangled up in one another, Thor's hand protectively lain on the side of Steve's bump, the soldier's hand lain on top, their fingertips barely touching. 

They were awoken by a cleared throat, and Steve's eyes were the first to open. "Tasha what is it?" He asked, nearly crying in exhaustion as he looked up at her, Thor was awake next, demanding the same answer. "Come on, you had three days of prep, and he's been dying to see you." The redhead puffed, walking to the doorway and practically dragging in the reluctant ex-spy, who was now less of a rough jackass and he appeared to be the shyest person one has ever seen. 

"And I thought Steve's mood swings were bad." Natasha consistently thought to herself. In his cell he went from one day being a rude snark, and then the next day he appeared to be clinically depressed and riddled with anxiety in the morning. She did not need to see him try and make a noose out of his bed sheets when she gave him his breakfast, and a day of therapy later, he still desired the one thing. Steve's acceptance, and love. He clearly didn't expect the old type of love anymore, but the blond needed to know he was sorry, so incredibly sorry. 

So she practically pushed and pulled him into the room, Steve quickly awakening further, nervously not sure how to disguise the large front. "Hey-" Steve opened up with before he received a crushing hold from the other soldier. He smiled and hugged back, "just be careful alright? I'm not as thin as I used to be." The blond cracked a smiled and looked up at Buck, gulping. "I..." The brunet looked his friend up and down. "I don't know what to say, you're a lot bigger than when I last saw you I guess." He said, gulping and taking a seat on the coffee table. 

The assassin diverted his eyes to the floor and gulped, "I'm so sorry, I- I-" he wasn't sure how to speak, or how to say it, "I was in control, but I wasn't. I could see what I was doing but I had no control. I felt like I was possessed. I-I am such an awful person, and I have done such inhumane things..." He rambled on and on in apologies, unsure how to stop now. 

Steve chuckled and took his hands, since he couldn't really get up and hug him. "Shut up okay? I don't want to hear it. Of course I forgive you, but there was no need to apologize. Like you said, it wasn't you in control. It was them. You have no need to be sorry for being their puppet. Just know you're still my friend okay? No matter what I'm here for you, as much as I can be. You know what you did back there was wrong and that's all that matters, you can't bring back lives but remorse proves you are not an awful person in the slightest okay? It makes you so much better that others." He said, patting his cheek. 

Bucky looked over at him and smiled weakly, relieved he no longer was watching behind a body that was doing nothing but hurting his friend. He wasn't sure what to do, due to the inevitable large thing in his way, so he gave the best hug he could, smiling happily, "I missed your corny ways." He scoffed, the blond smiling and holding him back. 

It was a sharp and pained intake of breath that made the soldier pull away quickly, "did I hurt you? I didn't mean to I-" Steve gripped his back and his stomach, forcing out a laugh, "oh no, it wasn't you, these little buggers hurt me all by themselves." He said, lowering himself into the chair further with a small bit of Thor's help. "Are you sure you're alright?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oh no I'm fine, they're just contractions." He said calmly. "Contractions?" Bucky popped in, crossing his arms. He didn't know a lot about anatomy and all that stuff but he knew contractions were not a good thing.

"False ones!" Steve finally corrected, rolling his eyes and leaning back, taking a few deep breaths. Well, as much lung space as he could fill with two way to large babies taking up space. "Besides I still have two, maybe three more months to go. I'm only seven months along still." He said, taking a few deep breaths and leaning back, the pains going away. "You're only seven months along?? How many do you have stuffed up in there?" "Bucky!" "It's a genuine question! You look like you'll pop any minute." Steve rolled his eyes, muttering a sarcastic, "wow thanks." The blond sighed and rubbed the top of the bump. "if you must know... Its twins, and with both Thor's and my respective weights, there estimated to be at least 10 pounds each." He said, groaning and rubbing in a different part when they started to play with his organs like bouncy balls. 

"10 pounds! Jesus Christ how much surgery will you need after these Devils come out? Your other organs must be the size of peas." He joked, though he was very concerned with his friends health. "All of my family's children are born quite large. My mother says I was 13 pounds when I was born. My brother was 11 and I never found out about how his children ended up..." Thor trailed off, noticing Steve looked like he was about to faint. "I was six pounds, a tiny one, no surprise there." He said, beginning to feel all too terrified about the idea of pushing out 13 pound monsters. 

"Steven Steven, I highly doubt that our children will be such a size they are only half of the power I was born with. I assure you." The God hummed, rubbing his shoulders softly, beginning to massage them. "wow, you really are knocked up." Bucky chuckled, feeling a small bit of disbelief. "Sadly so..." Steve groaned and leaned back, looking at the guest bedroom, "we don't even have a nursery set up yet, and like you said I look like I'm about to pop... It feels that way to." He said, feeling incredibly bloated, rubbing the bump slowly up and down. 

"So is there anything you want to eat? Surely you must want something you look like you just left a death camp." Steve murmured, reaching out a hand that Bucky instinctively flinched away from, making the blond gulp and retract it. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He made known, frowning sadly. The brunet shifted and nodded, "I'm not used to a kind hand I'm sorry." He mumbled, "but no I'm not too hungry, but you should be asking that to yourself. You look way too thin in the face." Bucky retorted, concerned about his own old friend's state. "I'm fine, really." He slowly pushed himself to his feet with Thor's help and made his way to the kitchen, "what do you want Thor? I need something productive to do or I'll die of gluttony." He admitted, looking around at the three from the kitchen, hand placed upon his back to help support the monsters. 

Bucky laughed a soft bit and looked at him, "you putting others before yourself? There's a shocker." He huffed, standing up and chuckling at Steve's standing position, "you know you've got the pregnancy waddle going on right?" He teased, leaning against the counter and looking at the blond. Honestly he was pretty hungry, but he wasn't exactly about to ask his heavily pregnant friend to make food for him. "Shut up..." Steve grumbled, setting out some pans on the counter. "Well, I'm going to make pancakes unless anyone has any objections." He told the three. 

Bucky frowned and watched him trying to maneuver around the tight area. "Are you sure you don't want any help? You seem to be struggling a bit...." He really wanted to help, and feel productive again, doing something good rather than for the worst cause. "I'm fine Bucky, really, just go and relax with the others I can handle myself." He insisted, shooing him off and managing to slowly kneel down to get the bowl he needed to stir the ingredients. He had found what he had been looking for but continued to look aimlessly around the cupboard.

"You can't get up can you?" Bucky asked after a few moments of watching Steve find the bowl. "Yes I can!" The blond defended angrily, cheeks blushed with embarrassment. "Then prove it." The brunet challenged, raising an eyebrow. "Of course." Steve accepted, even though of course he couldn't get up on his own with a moving shifting Boulder strapped to his front. He kicked out his leg to one side, trying to kneel it to the side of his stomach, gripping tightly to the cabinet, the brunet watching in amusement. Steve's pregnancy was going to be very fun to mess with, considering his friends very self sufficient ego. 

After about two minutes the blond finally brought himself to his feet, "there, see? I totally can." He said, his cheeks red a bit as he breathed heavily to catch his breath. Bucky crossed his arms and nodded, "Uh huh, I admit it, you have totally bested me, I didn't mean to have such a low opinion of your abilities." "You're forgiven." After a moment of silence the soldier couldn't help but laugh. "Steve?" "Yeah?" "How are you going to get the bowl?" He asked, snickering a bit at the bowl still sitting on the floor. The blond looked like he was about to break down entirely in a mix of anger and sadness. 

Bucky looked at his new old best friend and his smile dropped, moving swiftly to bend over to pick up the bowl, setting it on the counter and giving him a hug. "Hey, it's alright okay? You don't have to do everything you used to be able to do. That's what this is all about, you losing normal function in your body in order to create, not one, but two babies at the exact same time. It's okay to need help Stevie." He pepped him up, feeling all too happy to be back together with his old friend again. 

"That only makes it worse," the blond muttered, shaking his head, "I was supposed to be taking care of you! Making sure you feel alright about yourself, making you feel at home again. You shouldn't be the one giving me the pep talk..." Steve explained in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "Hey hey hey, that's no way to act Huh? I do feel at home, more than ever before, because I'm allowed to talk to you and be with you again, hell, I'm so back at home I'm giving you a pick me up. If you feel good then all of us feel good, but you gotta learn to ask for help." Bucky explained, giving his friend a smile. 

"My love, is something burning?" Thor asked casually, strolling over. Of course there wasn't anything, the stove wasn't even on, but if this man came strolling in and trying to steal his fiancé it'd have to happen over his dead body. He wrapped his arms around Steve, the blond rolling his eyes, knowing where this possessive nature was coming from. And yes of course he and Bucky used to be... Closer he wasn't going to be as awful as to risk Thor to do something as stupid as cheat. "Hey, Buck is just a friend alright? Nothing more nothing less, you have no reason to get all jealous." He assured his lover, kissing him on the cheek. 

"Alright..." Thor said, still suspicious and still holding on tight to Steve. "Thor... Honey I still have to cook." He said, turning to look at him, smiling as the God let him and he began happily beginning to bake, mixing together everything from memory, contently making a dozen pancakes. "Call the rest of the team up, this is for them to." He told Natasha, who nodded and called up Tony, Bruce and Clint. 

Steve was always content to play mother bird, serving the team two each, returning to the kitchen and remembering there was none left for him. He sighed exhaustedly and clunked down on the kitchen table alone, everyone else at the dining table. He was far too tired to make another pancake mix just for himself. He was about to pass out on the table, so he didn't think another batch was for him. He rested his head in his arms, legs having to spread apart just so he could lean forward enough to set his head on the table. 

Steve perked up as Thor sat at the table as well, handing him his plate. "I noticed that there is none left for you, and you are the one who needs the food most my love." Thor hummed, kissing his cheek. "I'm not going to take your breakfast Thor, you need food as well," The soldier huffed, pushing the plate back to him. "aye, but I am not the one with the babies that feed off of me." He reminded him, perking his eyebrows up and pushing them back over. Steve looked at him and sighed, deciding to take Bucky's advice and start accepting offers of help. "Okay... Thank you." He said, kissing Thor gratefully on the cheek. 

That was a lot easier than Thor expected it to be.


	9. How to Get Ready for Super Twins (And Avoid Kidnapping). By The Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Steve is getting more and more pained by the horrible reproduction method that is pregnancy, he and the team try to get everything ready before the babies come, and when struck with intense pain, America's Hero is stuck on bedrest and the Star Spangled Man has no plan when it comes to keeping himself from going insane. Little could he predict that he is going to be forced to do a lot of moving all to soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that I punched this out so late, but it is before the end of March just as promised. I'll try to get the final chapters out before Summer starts, and by summer I mean June 21st. Also, I apologize for any heartbreak that may occur because of the next two chapters. It's going to start to get a lot less fluffy, and I am making no promises about not having any death. I'm a cruel person, and I'm sorry.

The next day Steve forced himself out of bed, wincing at heavier pains brought on by the children. He hated complaining, he did, because it brought everyone else down but literally everything hurt. His feet hurt, his legs hurt, his head hurt, his hips hurt, his back hurt, his organs hurt, his chest hurt, his wrists hurt, his stomach hurt... Everyday all he could do was ache. One particular morning, He forced on some clothes that barely fit and walked out of the bedroom, only to discover he had gotten up a lot earlier than he had thought, finding no one in the main room. 

He hummed in thought and went to the bathroom, and walked back in to get himself some breakfast. Oh, did he mention it hurt to walk? A lot. With the back pains he always had one hand pressed into his lower back to help it support the massive bump (that felt more like a mountain to the blond) so he was always one hand short. He walked like a damn penguin to help maneuver about and his hips hurt so much from having children pushed against them they hurt as well, so it hurt every time he swung his legs about to walk. He swear he would get bone damage soon. On top of all of this he couldn't stay seated for more than twenty minutes at a time because he ALWAYS had to use the bathroom. 

So over all Steve felt like he was in hell. At least he was strong. He was sure he would be dead by now if he was still his normal self. He managed to get a bowl of cereal and lower himself onto one of chairs, thinking that one day they would break from under him due to just the fact that the chair would find it funny. Damn chair. It wasn't Steve's fault he was having monster sized infants. 

Sometimes the pain echoing through his own body was so bad it propelled him into tears of agony. This was rare due to his high pain threshold but sometimes it did get that bad. Right now he was on the verge, after giving up on actually finding a way to lean forward to eat from the table he waddled his way to the couch quickly and took a seat, resting the bowl on his stomach and turning on the television. "At least it's good for something..." He muttered cynically. 

Slowly the blond was actually able to get comfortable on the couch and hummed to himself, setting the bowl aside and wrote a list of everything they needed for the babies before he actually was ready to pop. 

•Clean out guest room

•Buy 2 cribs

•Buy buy light blue and dark red paint

•Paint guest room

•Setup cribs, changing tables, dressers etc.

•Buy clothes

•Buy some toys/pacifiers

That's all he needed for now. He still went by traditional standards, not considering the child alive until it was crying in his arms. He winced heavily at a heavy kick from one of the little devils, shaking his head. It's like they knew he wasn't thinking of them as alive. Once everyone was awake he would discuss finally getting everything, as everyone seemed to equally ignore the fact that there is to be very loud and obnoxious twins very soon and Steve was very well at such a stage where he could go into labor any week now. 

Finally they did get this underway that afternoon. Natasha and Clint were sent out to go and get things for the babies, along the lines of clothes, pacifiers, blankets, and a few toys. Thor and Tony were sent out to get paint and Steve ordered two cribs online, while Bucky and Bruce helped clear the junk out of the guest room, after of course dismissing multiple pleads from Steve with a retort from Bruce, "Steve it pains you to stand up I think you can sit this one out." 

So that week ended up being increasingly hectic. Bruce and Tony worked on building the cribs and Steve, Natasha and Clint happily painted the nursery, the blond liking that he could feel productive for once, but all of the standing was starting to hurt so incredibly bad Steve started to shake with pain. He constantly gasped heavily and shut his eyes, legs shaking as he struggled to stand, hot tears refusing to fall down his face. Natasha swiftly got a chair and let him fall back into it. "Bruce!" She called nervously as the blond heaved for air in between clenching everything from all of the pain. 

The doctor ran in and looked at Steve, wondering if he was even okay to answer questions. "You are in pain yes?" The soldier didn't have the strength to get angry and simply nodded. "Is it like a wrapping pain, around your middle or is it more searing or pulsating?" He asked, trying to figure out if they were contractions or another type of pain. "Th-the second one." Steve forced out, finding it increasingly difficult to speak. "It feels l-like my hips are being pressed into paper, and by spine is being twisted." He wheezed out, clenching hard to the sides of the chair. 

"Okay, Thor!" He called, everyone crowded in the room, Thor right behind the doctor. "Carry him to the bedroom and lay him on his back." He ordered, the god quickly complying and bringing Steve there, where his face immediately stretched out, all of the pain receding as the pressure was taken away. Bruce did his best to stay calm the entire time instead of getting nervous and/or jittery. "Look, hip pains are very common in pregnant women who retain a lot of water, or they are supporting an overall a heavy child. You have two and clearly have a lot of water retention. I'm going to say you are on bedrest for now. I will call in Dr. Uchtman and see if she says different but for now you aren't permitted to walk around unless it's short distances like to the bathroom. 

Those words seemed like a death sentence on Steve's end. Thor kneeled down and kissed his hand. "Are you alright my love?" He asked, "I was terrified something horrible had happened, that you were to give birth." "I'm better thanks. I always felt like I can't do anything like this and now the world made sure it would make that literal." He looked at the rest of the team and sighed, "don't worry about me, continue to work. I don't want to go into labor and not even have a crib." Steve told the rest of them, while he sighed and shifted into his side very slowly, feeling like a beached whale.

This was the final nail in the coffin of his dignity. 

Of course Dr. Uchtman agreed the same thing. "Look you have gained a lot of weight, it would be stressful and dangerous on your entire body to be walking about like this. Someone should've told me, he honestly should have been on bedrest weeks ago." She told them. "So until the baby comes no work, no standing, just bedrest." She summed up, telling Thor to make sure he wouldn't break this rule. 

Steve leaned back and groaned a bit, laying down on his side, looking up at Thor. "I mean... I didn't know I was that enormous... But everyone seems to remind me daily." He murmured, rubbing it up and down and lifting off his shirt. "God I'm hideous..." Thor looked at him, not having the heart to lie, and of all people on the team he was the most kindly honest. 

"Yes, you are big, and will be getting bigger, b-" "how is that even possible for me to get bigger?! I'm not even allowed to walk anymore!" "But..." Thor continued, "you are swelled with children, and that by far is the best reason to have gained much weight. Two large healthy children. That you formed all on your own... And if you have made it this far surely you will have no problem with the rest of it." Steve nodded tiredly and sighed. He really needed to ask for help now... More than he could’ve ever imagined. 

Little did the tower know of the siege to soon take place, as two men in black shot a silent bullet into the glass of the window, a zip line catching onto the firmness of the wall of Stark Towers. 

It started one morning where Steve leaned over the best he could and threw up in the trashcan a few times. Morning sickness... He hadn't had that for awhile now. Thor had already gone off for quick duties on Asgard, and Steve was mainly alone, the small fever he had earlier that week taking a toll on him. He was taking a nap around noon when his eyes shot open at the scent of the deadly chemical, and tossed the holder of the cloth across the room, but it was too late and he was already passed out. 

Steve woke up in a white padded cell room, which he could tell was few levels below the ground at the smell. As he woke up he was given, disgusting food, but he was starving and ate it anyways. He was picked up by two guards roughly. "You are going into the normal cells now.” “We have more valuable takers." The two southerners told him, one man and one woman, at least that's what it sounded like. He was then walked up a huge winding pile of stairs with nearly seven different passageways up onto the first level. Everything aches from head to toe but he knew not to complain. He didn't know what he was getting into here. 

"The pregnant man... We've heard lots of stories about you..." A man snickered as he walked up in the room, sounding more british than southern. His teeth poked out in all different directions, his hair was in a nasty combover... He looked like the human version of a rat. "Here, we run a show! A freak show circus if you will. Your job will be to push around other acts since you're so strong Captain, be tied to a spinning rack where objects will be thrown at you. And finally, when you are just about really to pop, we will inject you with our own formula to induce birth. It is very special. It will skip labor and plunge you straight into birth. If you manage to survive the birth, we will make sure you will be impregnated before our next show. Now get into the uniform. The next show is in an hour." The guards left. He panted nervously and changed into the costume that barely fit. "Most of what they do if threats." He heard a voice on the other side of the wall say. 

“Huh?” “Most of what they tell you, it’s just a threat. People usually don’t show up to the performances, so we usually don’t leave the cells.” Another voice said from the same direction, sounding like two children. Ten maximum. The blond shut his eyes. Children. Children were roped into this, what kind of monsters were these people. “What are your names? Why are you here?” He asked, chained arms gently rubbing the bump up and down to soothe the rapidly kicking children. “My names Anna Trigan,” “And I’m Tiana Trigan.” “We’re here because we have one body and two heads… We were taken when we were five. It’s been about four years.” He shut his eyes, tightening his jaw. It wasn’t right. At all. It was disgusting. 

“Well I’m sure both of you are very pretty girls.” He said, sighing softly. “Thanks Mister… What’s your name?” “Steve Rogers…” He mumbled, “Like the superhero?” Tiana asked, he could practically see the excitement on her face. “Yeah, though I’m not very super anymore, or a hero for that fact.” “Why are you here?” Anna inquired, the girls shifting closer to the gate so many they could catch a glimpse of him. “I’m… I’m pregnant, with twins.” The girls didn’t skip a beat, out of the things they’ve seen, it wasn’t as weird as he thought. “Who did that to you?” “Have you guys ever heard of Thor, from the Battle of New York?” “Him?! He’s super cute.” The blond laughed and smiled wide. “Yeah… He is  super  cute.” The girls giggled. “Is he the love of your life?” “Yeah, we were engaged before I was taken.” They were silent for a minute. “Oh.. um.. We were going to get married.” He put in easier terms. 

“So where are we, do you know?” “They tell us we are in Mississippi, then we are going to Utah.” The blond frowned and leaned back, wondering what the team was doing right about now. 


	10. How to Escape a Dungeon. By Steve G. Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LAST TIME IN THIS FANFICTION, STEVE ROGERS HAS FOUND HIMSELF TRAPPED IN A DUNGEON FOR A CIRCUS TROOP FOR 'FREAKS.' HOW WILL HIM AND HIS BUDDIES GET OUT OF THIS TIME? WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES? FIND OUT IN THIS ENSTALLMENT. (dododododoooo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the stupid summary, couldn't think of how to write it and not give anything away. I'm sorry if my writing has gotten poorer for this, less detailed, I'm just not very passionate about the sorry anymore, but I will NOT leave it unfinished. I'll finish it of course, I just apologize for lazy writing.

That evening when the team returned, to find Steve gone, they tried everything. They tried calling him, but his phone was on the bedside. He obviously didn't just go for a stroll in his condition. They pulled up the footage from his bedroom, where the fight was seen and captured, a small insignia was worn on the shoulder of the attacker. "JARVIS, zoom in." Tony ordered, watching the patch closely, bringing up his Pad and searching up the image. There seemed to be a Wikipedia page for everything. "Guys!" He called, huddling everyone together. No one knew how to contact Thor, and for now they considered that blissful ignorance. The less he was aware that his heavily pregnant fiancé was kidnapped the better, everyone seemed to agree upon that rule.  
"Okay. So it's a circus group, kinda... One of those really creepy ones you hear PETA going on and on about. A freak show, travel around, collecting people that sort of thing." Clint visibly tensed in the corner and turned his hearing aid off on purpose, hearing barely fuzzy mumbling without them. "They shouldn't be that hard to track down if I think I know what kind of group they are, we'll be able to Save everyone including Steve before Thor even thinks of returning to earth." Tony finished, smiling confidently. A voice from the back was heard as well as a vibrating slow clap.  
"Yes, truly one of the best attack plans of our generation Sherlock. But I have a question. How the hell are we exactly going to track down his location? Just because we know who took him doesn't mean we can find him. Just because people knew I worked for HYDRA doesn't mean that I was found or searched for in the slightest. We have next to no information but you know what does work? A tracking device." Bucky cracked, almost sounding angry. He bent down to the computer and pushed out a small chip from his arm. "It was given to me to help track him down when I was supposed to kill him." He mentioned casually, pushing the SD card in and waiting a moment, pulling up his location. "In the middle of Nebraska." He said confidently, pulling up the exact coordinates. "Probably in some underground bunker." 

The rest nodded and Tony imported the coordinates into one of the suits GPS, strapping in. The rest of you can take a plane or something." He shrugged off and took to the sky quickly. The slight took annoyingly long and finally he lowered himself, looking around. "Is the coordinate point still the same smart one?" He asked, looking around. No Steve, no underground bunker. He looked down and around, walking over to a small flashing chip. "Yeah, did you find him?" "No, but I found the chip you were using." Tony said with a sigh, flying back quickly, feeling beyond annoyed and scared. They were stuck, with no leads whatsoever on where their pregnant super soldier was being hidden. The same thought that seemed to go through everyone's mind was 'fuck what if he gives birth there?'

-

Two weeks later and the soldier groaned and shifted uncomfortably in the cell, the babies making his life more hellish than it was. "Please babies, come on, I know you're upset but I just-" he tensed heavily as he looked around, eyes wide. Before his eyes gun barrels clicked out of the wall and aimed at his frame. And as soon as they were out, they were sealed back in the walls. There were several cries of "INTRUDER." From the workers and pounding steps made their way down the hall. The blond was heavily jolted by this, and if the babies were born they would've started to cry because they were certainly making a racket. "God... Please let it be Thor, or any of them..." He had no idea what he had signed on for when he found out he was pregnant. Everything ached, the babies were attacking his organs so much he was sure they had turned to mush... 

Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep against the wall, and before he knew it he felt a small pin prick against his arm. He woke up immediately and slapped it away, only a small amount seeping out of the hypodermic needle cracked on the floor. "What were you doing?" The blond shouted, fist clasped around his shirt, hand winding back to punch the guard roughly. "The intruder is serving as a threat, we needed to induce labor in order to have you and your baby safe for us." The worker explained. "And you might've ruined it you big brute!" He shouted, slamming a brutal blow to the side of his stomach. "You're lucky they gave out the order not to have anyone rape you!" He shouted, spitting on the blond before leaving and locking the gates. 

Steve's heart raced. Induced labor? He couldn't go into labor now! He wasn't full term! He tried to calm down the best he could and look out at the twisting sky through the barred window. He had to get out of here. He walked up to the gate door and gripped the lock firmly, snapping it quickly, and dodging out of the way the best he could from the fire of bullets from the room, the bullets grazing his leg and hitting his arm. He let out a soft groan in pain before standing up. Seeing as all of the guards were busy with this intruder of sorts, he began to break the other locks too. He started with the little girls with conjoined bodies, having them walk along side him. He saved another man who had a living snake for an arm, and ran them to the closest exit they could and just keep running. He went to the next compartment but someone had beaten him to it. 

"Steve?"  
"You have no right to call me by my name!" He shouted at the guard.  
"Well you know, there ain't a lot of pregnant men out there Stevie." The blond turned to look and was greeted with a sly smile. "you think I can't take no group of carnie wranglers?" Came a snide remark. "Come on Blondie I got this." The blond chuckled as a metal arm swung over his shoulder and walked the blond out. "I have high jacked plane and a flight to New York in our future." The brunet promised, patting his back and walking him out of the building. "They have a nice little cheery bomb waiting for them anyways." He teased, walking with him a little quicker to the grassy surface of the large field where the bunker was hidden. He climbed into the small jet with him and he couldn't help but laugh in disbelief, "how did-" "I was trained to kill you and you can't think I can find you given all of America as a playground? I'm insulted you doubt my skills so." He teased softly, picking up the jet quickly and soaring off and up to New York. "What did they even do to you there?"  
"I'd rather not say." 

When he got home after an hour or so of the 'after I helped you escape from a high security dungeon bonding time' he was all too happy to have his feet taste the sweet carpet. It was the middle of the night, and he quickly showers off, feeling just dirty and disgusting. He decided that if the inducer hasn't worked yet, it wouldn't work at all. He already got the bullet removed and bandaged by Bucky, so the final step was to crash onto the bed and interweave with his fiancé, having missed him so much it hurt. "God I love you." He whispered, but there was no one there. He huffed and got up to look around the building, walking into the common room for the team and nearly jumped out of his skin at the midnight party set out for him, mixed with exhausted but beyond relieved teammates. 

He smiled and chuckled, feeling a rigid shock pass through his body as he was led to the couch, "where's Thor?" He asked, looking around and seeing nothing that would even hint at him. Everyone just kind of shrugged, "he left quickly after we hit a dead end, went to look for you himself." Clint explained to him. The blond nodded and frowned, hand rubbing up and down his stomach, "well can someone please find a way to get him back here?" He asked tiredly, "I need to see him." He spoke with such a small voice that only emphasized how much he needed him.

After a few questions and small conversations the party ended, which was good for everyone involved. Steve laid back down on the bed, another pain twisting around his back. He grumbled something under his breath and drifted off, the babies staying oddly quiet, not that he cared, he was just glad his organs were staying intact and he wasn't aching all over for once. 

That quickly changed. Steve shot up in bed, rigid cramps wracking his body. He groaned and tossed his head back. Braxton Hix, right now?! He breathed softly in and out, waiting for it to pass and trying to recall the breathing videos he had watched while on bedrest. His heart pounded lightly, looking to his side. Still no Thor. He got up with the help of a little handle Tony had installed on the wall by the bed. He waddled into the side bathroom and relieved himself. While washing up he felt a quick pain rush through his body. He felt the equivalent of a balloon popping before he felt a large gush of water burst underneath him. "Shit..." He breathed out, gulping nervously. 

He rushed back into the bedroom, as fast as he could, wiped up a little and changed his bottoms and underwear, having no idea what to do. Labor, no Thor, no one else was awake. He sat down on the chest at the foot of the bed, taking several deep breaths. At least the nursery was done, which was an advantage. He struggled to stand back up and he waddled into the main room, feeling beyond relieved to see Natasha sitting on the table. "What's up?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. "Kind of in labor, how 'bout you?" He spoke with a drone of sarcasm, leaning against the wall with a hand pressed to his back. "Isn't it too early?" "Hell if I know... Is Thor still gone?" She nodded and stayed a distance away, as if the pregnancy was contagious. "Yeah, he disappears all the time Steve, he always comes back." He pinched his eyes shut. "Yes, sorry, I'm on a little bit of a time crunch here." He groane, clenching his eyes and throwing his head back as another pain wrapped around his stomach and squeezed him like a ragdoll. 

"We can take you to the hospital without him Steve." "Right, I'm sorry. Pregnant people in labor usually like to have the father around. Sorry for the inconvenience." He growled out through the pain, looking down at his stomach nervously. "I need him there for reasons you don't understand..." He breathed out, swallowing thickly, feeling his stomach pulsate from the after effects of the large scale cramp. Tony wandered in, and after getting a picture of Steve giving him the finger, his face all red and sweaty, a few others started to drift in at two in the morning. Bruce called up the doctor that had been working with him for awhile, but the blond demanded that they wait for Thor.

After two hours of stubborn waiting, and two hours of the team trying to convince him that there was no point to it, Steve slowly stood up with their help, wiping around at the sound of a thunder crash. "Come with me, love. The preparations are all ready for the children's birth on Asgard." "Thor! I'm having the baby on earth!" "It is not safe, they are not advanced enough to safely deliver-" "Thor! They will be born on-" he let out a sharp cry of pain, the God quickly rushing over and holding him upright. "Fucking hell! Have them born wherever just get them out!" He exclaimed in agony, panting heavily and struggling to even stand at the intense contraction. 

After it passed, Thor quickly helped him walk onto the balcony. "You look absolutely beautiful, radiant my love." He leaned down to kiss his cheek before earning a shove with a forearm. "Not the time for romance right now." He breathed out in frustration. The blond chuckled and nodded, "of course Steven..." He hummed, picking him up and casting both of them into the sky through the portal. He rushed the blond through the gates and into the palace, and Steve had never seen so many freaking servants in his life, nor had he ever wanted to. He was helped into an off room, and he was about to yell at Thor for daring to imply that Earth had worse medical technology because that was just a fucking bed. There was better medical technology when he was born for Christ sakes! He was laid down and in too much pain to care that he was being stripped down by strangers. At least Thor was there to whisper sweet nothings to him in support. He was checked out by one of the kind doctors who said there was only a little bit more time to wait before he could start trying to push. 

The contractions started to get more and more painful and Steve started to regret every little thing he had done to get him to this point in his life. The only worrisome thing was that Thor seemed more scared than Steve was, and in an annoyingly classic tradition when it came time to push they tried to get him to leave. Steve threatened to bash in the worker's skulls if they even tried to take him away, and for obvious reasons they made a few exceptions. The first few pushes wielded nothing and then after maybe ten pushes the first baby moved its way up and began to crown. "This is the weirdest thing I've ever felt..." The blond breathed out, giving Thor a tired smile and gladly accepted his help as he worked on the next push. The baby was large, and that made for an extremely uncomfortable birth on Steve's part. He let out pained, desperate cries in anguish and pain since things were stretching that shouldn't be stretching. 

As a string of hateful New York slang slipped out of his mouth in Thor's direction, the first baby slipped out alongside the obscenities. "A bouncing baby boy." A doctor hummed with a wide smile, handing him off to another doctor to cut the cord then clean him up. The pair of blonds didn't get too much of a chance to celebrate before the next set of pains ripped through his body. The blond started to feel lightheaded as the twin started to crown their head. "Thor... I don't feel too well..." He groaned, his eyes slowly lowering and clicking shut. The God shook him roughly to wake him up. "You have to keep going!" "I can't.." "You've always been able to, you are one of the strongest people I know. You can do anything, I promise you." 

Two more strong pushes and the second little boy came out, the nurses taking him off. "Thor..." He rasped out, tugging gently at his arm. "I love you... You know that right?" The previously distracted man faced him and nodded with a broad smile. "Yes, of course, I love you as well." "Good..." And like that, all of Thor's fears were coming true as the blond's eyes slowly fluttered shut.


	11. How to Recover From Having Demigod Twins: by Steve G. Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's on the bend between living and dying, which side will the coin fall?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM VERY SORRY I HAVENT FINISHED THIS STORY I PROMISE TO FINISH IT NOW. THIS IS MY MOST READ STORY AND GOD IVE NEGLECTED IT SO MUCH.

* * *

Steve took a weak breath, and suddenly his lungs filled with air. Where was he now? He looked like he was at a train station. An old rattley one, with a badly built wooden platform with sobbing wives and children and friends. This was the train Bucky shipped off on. He frowned and looked at himself. Frail, small, holding onto the last good thing he had. Of course he was there. 

He looked around, why was he here? He felt a shiver run through him as someone walked through him. Is this what it felt like, his life flashing before his eyes. As the hug ended the world paused, and a man stepped out through a door. He seemed to have ripped open the picture and made a door before his eyes. This was a mean trip. 

"Rogers... Fancy meeting you here." He looked around and behind him, but the world was gone, hung up around him like some cheap curtains. "We hung this up for you so your eyes wouldn't get burned out and all." "Considerate." He hummed, looking up and only seeing smoke filled bright lights.

"What happened? Am I dead is this death because I feel pretty dead." He sighed gently and rubbed his arms. "No, not yet at least. It's a deciding point at this time, you could fall this way." The world tilted and opened a small hole to the real world, where he was laid out on a bed, Thor holding his hand, doctors humming, 'he seems to be improving.'

"Or you could go the other way." The world sharply turned to tilt the other way, opening another portal where doctors yelled, 'He's crashing he's crashing!!' He gulped. "Depends which way you fall." The old man spoke. "Well... How do I determine which way I go. I want to stay alive! I have babies, I don't want to lose them!" He sighed softly and shook his head, "I can't leave Thor all alone with the thought, that it was his fault or something." 

"Of course of course, not his fault that you wanted to bottom that night." Steve blushed and raised an eyebrow. "This doesn't see like appropriate conversation." He sighed and shook his head. "Oh, I'm sorry, pansy." "What was that??" "Nothing... Every second you are here in an hour in your world, might want to speed up the chit chat." 

Steve sighed in frustration. "Why are you here?" The blond huffed, "to toss the coin." He smirked and handed him a silver dollar. "Do whatever superstitious thing you want." He blew on it gently and rubbed it in his hands. "Heads life wins, tails death wins." He smiled and tossed it in the air. It flew through the air and a breath of wind softly blew it to the side, it landing tails on the edge of the platform, before tipping over and spinning through the portal onto his son's chest, landing heads. "See you again soon, you death teaser." The man called, Steve being launched back through the portal. 

Steve breathed deeply and opened his eyes, for the first time in what felt like forever. Thor looked at him and yelled loudly. "Yes! You are alive! I could see it in the stars my love." He kissed his lips and helped him sit up, Steve looking at him with a weak laugh. "Hey big guy, how ya doing.." He smiled softly and looked around. "Where are our boys?" "With Natalia, she is a very good mother to them in the time you were gone." "That's lovely to hear... How long was I gone?" "Two weeks, fourteen days, 336 hours Steven." "God, I'm so sorry, I never meant to leave you alone like this." "You had my children, two beautiful children, you deserved to sleep for a decade." 

The blond laughed and looked up at him, kissing his cheek. "God I love you... Can you get the boys?" He asked, giving him a begging look and leaning back. He had to see his children, now. He had to know they were safe. "Of course." Thor stood and moved to the nursery, Natasha helping bring in two small squirmy bundles. "Hey little guys... I'm your mom.. dad... Parent. And I adore you. I'm sorry I was gone for so long." The babies gurgled and one of them let out a little squeal at their mommy, the slightly older one moving to tug at his dog tags. "Yeah, that's my name honey." He smiled and kissed their foreheads, beyond excited to finally hold his sons. 

Later that night as he changed James out of his onesie he found a small coin on his chest. He furrowed his brows and picked it up, the room rumbling. "It wasn't just a dream after all was it?" 

* * *

 

*18 months later* 

"Say daddy." Steve hummed, bouncing Logan on his knees. "Ah!" "No sweetie. Da dee." "BLL." The baby buzzed his lips and Steve chuckled, rolling his eyes. "He can use Tony's Stark pad but he can't say daddy." He smiled softly and leaned back, Thor chasing James around as he ran every which way, not caring how tired his daddy was. 

Steve was never bored. 

He looked up as Bucky sat down on the couch, his face pale and under eyes dark. "Yikes. Third time this week?" Natasha added. He nodded solemnly. "What's going on?" Steve asked worriedly, putting Logan in his swing. "Bucks been getting sick a lot recently, he's probably got some kinda super flu." Bucky glared at her softly. "I threw up once before a mission in those shi.. Silly stalls on the plane." He hummed, avoiding cussing so much around the twins, knowing his friend would be horrified if his babies first words were swears. 

"Sounds familiar." He gave Nastasha a small look and she looked back at him. She dragged him by his ear to the other room. "Are you implying what I think you're implying?" "I dunno, him and Sam have been friendly for awhile and... It might be possible." He shrugged. "Well he could just be sick. Give it a month." "Fine... One month before we call Bruce." 

"Sam can you please pick up some pickles when your shopping with Clint? And hot sauce!"

"fuck these stupid jeans must've shrunken god damn stupid washing machine. I'll destroy it!" 

"Why the fuck would they do that to Bambi's mom Steve?? That's awful! She didn't do anything wrong..." 

"Call Bruce?" Steve muttered to her after only two weeks. "Call Bruce." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There most likely won't be a sequel to this unless I really really get back into marvel but don't count on it. I'm sorry it's such a bad ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it might be a little OOC. Put in the comments if you would like me to continue this particular story or not. My first mpreg so be gentle...


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